The Nina and Anna Show

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken or its characters. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Nina will be doing a lot of character bashing; so if you're case sensitive don't read. She also uses rather colorful language. This is written purely for laughs. Don't take anything here seriously and nothing much else. Warning, a lot of cursing ahead.

Summary: Nina and Anna have their own television talk show, and will use it to change some of the ways of the other Tekken characters. Wish them luck. They are going to need it.

The Nina and Anna Show
Chapter 1: Smeagol Syndrome
By: Kadeana


"Hello, audience! And welcome to our new show!" Anna Williams chirped happily. "I'm, Anna.” She paused for effect. “And this is my psycho, I mean sister, Nina!" The crowd clapped and whistled. "And we . . . are the Williams Sisters!"

Nina nodded her head in acknowledgment and then muttered, "Let's get this fucking show started.”

"Alright!" Anna hooted. They headed for the stools especially made for them. "Our topic today is obsessions." The crowd oohed and ahhed.

"We found an old ass, senile idiot. Who is obsessed with his company," Nina revealed. She shook her head in disgust. "We also have two, stupid ass psychos. Who are obsessed with a young man named, Jin Kazama."

"Hopefully, we can get to the root of their problems and help them," Anna said sorrowfully.

"And if we can't, I can always kill the bastards," Nina declared. "I don't think anyone in their right mind would object." She presented the audience with such a terrifying glare that they shrank back, in their seats, from fear. The look meant, if you object, I will kill you.

"Okay," Anna said. She had a freaked out smile on her face. "Here's our first guest, Heihachi Mishima!" As the crowd and Anna respectfully clapped, Nina exercised her trigger fingers.

Heihachi came out a few steps, stopped, looked around a few times, and then started walking again. He repeated the process until he made it to his seat.

"Welcome to the show," Anna said sweetly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Nina demanded. His paranoia had freaked her out.

"People everywhere are trying to steal my company from me," Heihachi replied in horror. "I have to forever watch out for them."

"Newsflash, nobody wants that piece of shit company, except your two psycho sons," Nina replied.

"Those two spawns are the worst," Heihachi groaned.

"I know how it is to feel like you can't trust your own family," Anna said seriously.

"Shut up," Nina snapped. "They’re the heirs to the company, of course their interested."

"I'm not dead yet!" He shouted.

"You will be soon, if you keep yelling at me," Nina said calmly.

"Don't you think what the boys are doing is a little justified?" Anna asked. "Especially Kazuya. You have tried to kill him, what is it, three times now?"

"And it would have worked too," Heihachi declared. "If it wasn't for those kids and that stupid dog."

"What!" Anna exclaimed confused.

"This is the Williams Show, not Scooby Doo," Nina snapped. "You old, senile fuck!"

Man, I know now I should have gotten that beep machine, Anna thought. Her sister could swear like an old drunken sailor when provoked or unprovoked.

"I just don't understand why all this is happening to me," Heihachi moaned.

"Hmm, lets see," Nina said sarcastically. "You're an old tyrant, who destroys everything in his path." She started cleaning her fingernails with her knife. "What goes around, comes around."

"And that ungrateful, brat Jin came back to kill me too," Heihachi declared.

"Yeah, after you pumped him full of lead," Anna replied dryly.

"That company is mine!" He exploded. "It belongs to know one else but me! Mine all mine! I killed for it fair and square! It's mine!"

"Classic. Smeagol. Syndrome," Anna declared shaking her head. "But don't worry. We will help you." She started smiling. "But first, it's time to introduce our next two guests."

"Hwoarang and Ling Xiaoyu," Nina revealed. They walked out together. Hwoarang's arms were crossed as if he was bored with the world and Xiaoyu power waved and posed for the crowd.

Anna smiled brightly. "Welcome." They sat on the love seat beside Heihachi.

"Hi," Xiaoyu said happily.

"Whatever," Hwoarang muttered.

"So Hwoarang, we will start with you," Anna declared. "What's with this obsession with Jin?"

"Every since we fought a couple of years back and it was a draw, I knew I was destined to meet him, again, in battle," Hwoarang declared. His hands balled into fists. "And when we meet again, I will be the victor."

"Sounds interesting," Anna said happily.

"Yeah, to a tree stump," Nina replied.

"Fuck you!" Hwoarang snapped.

"Fuck you!" She snapped back.

"Right back at ya hag!" Hwoarang shouted. The crowd and Anna gasped and begin trying to find a hiding place.

Nina raised her sawed-off shotgun in the air. "Do you all like my new gun?" she asked smirking. "I think it's excellent for shooting a rare breed of Redheaded Dumbass."

Hwoarang shut his mouth. I knew I shouldn't have come on this show, he thought fearfully. She's going to kill me later. Anna and the crowd hesitantly went back to their seats.

"From looking at your record it looks like to me you need to concentrate on defeating Forest Law or his father, Marshall," Anna declared. "One of them has defeated you in every tournament."

"So why are you obsessed with defeating Jin? When the Laws make you look like a complete joke?" Nina demanded. "I think they've both beaten you under five seconds tops."

"I will defeat Jin," Hwoarang replied. "It is my destiny."

"Ms. Ling," Anna called.

"That's Ms. 'Future Mrs. Jin Kazama' to you lady," Xiaoyu replied sweetly.

"Yeah, right," Nina muttered.

"Okay," Anna replied. "Why are you obsessed with Jin?"

"He's so cute," Xiaoyu gushed. "And I'm cute. He's always nice to me. We went to the same school. He's so mysterious and cute. He doesn't push me down and run away. I love him a whole lots."

"Apparently, he has a high tolerance for idiots," Nina declared eying the three guests on the stage.

"It's my mission in life to save the Mishimas," Xiaoyu declared. "I'm building a time machine to go to the past. So I can to stop all this madness fore it starts."

"That's noble," Anna said.

"Then I can come back and marry Jin," Xiaoyu declared. "He'll love me a whole lots for changing the past. I mean . . . his dad won't be the Devil man anymore."

"FY—fucking—I," Nina butted in. "If you stop Heihachi from throwing Kazuya off the cliff, then there is no need for Jun to seek the evil, brain surgeon out!"

"And your point?" Xiaoyu asked. Nina's stupid, she thought.

"Jin won't be born, you stupid little bitch," Nina shouted.

"You two are so amazing," Xiaoyu declared. She hadn't heard a word Nina said. "I watch old tapes of you two playing tennis all the time."

"I've never played tennis in my life!" Nina shouted.

"I've only played once or twice," Anna replied.

"Don't be shy," Xiaoyu replied winking. "You two changed the face of tennis."

"What!" Nina shouted.

"She thinks you two are Venus and Sarena Williams," Heihachi revealed. "They played tennis years ago."

"Don't talk anymore!" Nina tirades at the young girl.

"We are not those Williams sisters," Anna said gently. Xiaoyu looked as if she didn't believe her.

"You two are mentally unbalanced," Nina declared. "Your obsessions with Jin are totally unfounded. He's told us both, you two are official stalkers!"

"I beg to differ," Hwoarang declared.

"My obsession is totally founded," Xiaoyu said frowning. She fished out a picture from who knows where. "Look who's posing with Panda and me?"

"It's a cute photo," Anna said.

"Ohh, he took a picture with you," Nina said sarcastically. "I hear the wedding bells ringing."

"It proves we are soul mates!" Xiaoyu declared.

"On what planet?" Nina asked.

"Earth, silly," Xiaoyu replied.

"I'd say Planet Clueless," Anna replied. "Do you have anymore evidence that you and Jin are soul mates?" Xiaoyu went on to show them her Tekken Tag school ending. Miharu had taped it with her mini cam.

"That's proof," Xiaoyu declared. "He talks to me all the time."

"Looks like to me, he's trying to stop himself from bashing you on top of your empty head, with his black school bag!" Nina declared.

"FYI, you're telling a lie," Xiaoyu sang.

"I hate you!" Nina shouted.

"Don't we all," Hwoarang asked.

"Jin doesn't," Xiaoyu said. She stood up and taunted them giggling.

"Can I kill her now?" Nina asked.

"No," Anna replied.

"Forget, Jin!"

"No!" Hwoarang, Heihachi, and Xiaoyu shouted together.

"Shut up! You old buzzard," Nina snapped. "I didn't ask you shit."

Her attention turned back to the younger guests. "Do you two even care your masters were attacked by Ogre? If you had half a brain between the two of you, you'd realize you should have been trying to avenge them."

"I have to agree," Anna said. "Xiaoyu, my records show, you were in the in the third tournament for an amusement park."

"Wee! I love amusement parks," she replied. "Almost as much as I love Jin."

"Shouldn't you have been trying to avenge your teacher?" Anna asked.

"My favorite ride is the roller coaster," Xiaoyu replied.

"Hwoarang shouldn't you have been trying to avenge your teacher?" Nina asked. "Instead of chasing Jin, like that love sick groupie over there."

"Defeating Jin is my destiny!" Hwoarang replied.

"And after you do that, marrying him is my destiny," Xiaoyu declared.

"My company is my destiny!" Heihachi shouted.

"And killing you three, and sending you straight to Hell, is mine!" Nina shouted.

"Time for our intervention program," Anna said nervously. "Come and get them!"

"What intervention program!" Hwoarang demanded. Before he could run, a legion of guys in white jackets grabbed him. Xiaoyu and Heihachi were grabbed as well. "I hate you two!" Hwoarang screamed. He started to cry as they were carried away. "I don't want to go to the crazy house!" He sobbed. The other two were happily carried away.

"We'll find out at the end of the season if our program worked or not," Anna declared. The crowd clapped on cue.

"Next week our topic we'll be Water Boy Syndrome," Nina revealed. "Moms who won’t let their young adults step from their shadows."

"I hope you tune in!" Anna called waving happily.

"And cut!" Lee C. Williams declared. Anna's husband, Heihachi's adopted son, was the director of their talk show.


* * *

AN: I am editing some of my stories and this is one of them. I hope to have the next chapter posted soon. The only other place to find this story is at FanFiction.net. I didn't post it at my site.

[Moriamur]

Oh man Tammy, I fucking enjoyed and laughed myself silly while reading this story

Bring the next one, I can hardly wait to read the next episode...

Oh, and show mooooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee nudity XD, just kidding

[Ikusa]

Ditto. ^_^

Keep 'em coming!

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Chapter 2: Water Boy Syndrome

"Welcome to the fucking show!" Nina Williams hooted. The audience clapped nervously.

"Yeah," Anna Williams said happily.

"Lets get on with the idiocy," Nina commanded. "I have to kill someone in little over an hour." She smiled in happiness, just thinking about it.

"Our show today is on Water Boy Syndrome," Anna revealed. "We have two Moms who just don't know how to let their young adults grow up."

"One of the bitches reaches from beyond the grave to boss her son around," Nina revealed truly disgusted. "The worst thing yet, their kids are grown." The crowd gasped just thinking about it. "I want to put the two pansy victims out of their misery, just thinking about it."

"Put them in counseling?" Anna asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Nina replied. "Group R.I.F.P."

"Ohh," Anna said in awe. "What does that stand for?"

"Rest in fucking peace or pieces," Nina replied. "Pick one!"

"You're weird," Anna whispered. "Lets bring out our first guest." The two sisters rushed to their stools. "Steve Fox!"

"What!" Nina shouted.

Steve came out waving at the audience. He sat down on his stool, making sure not to wrinkle his pink shirt. A cool dude like him could not be seen in a wrinkled shirt.

"Hello, Steve," Anna said sweetly.

"Hey," he greeted.

"What the fuck is that thing doing on this show?" Nina snapped. She knew for a fact his mother didn't give a flying fuck about him.

"So tell us," Anna coaxed. "What brings you here?"

"I wish my momsie had Water Boy Syndrome," he said sighing. "She treats me like I'm a disease."

"How horrible," Anna said frowning. "Poor, Stevie."

"What did I do, to be so hated?" He moaned.

"Maybe, it's because she doesn't want you to be hurt by her many enemies," Nina replied.

"Really?" He asked hopefully.

"Hell, no," Nina replied. Steve's lower lip trembled.

"I think your mom should be very proud of you," Anna declared.

"Why?" Nina asked. "The fuck has on a pink shirt."

"Hey," Anna said pouting. "I brought that for him. It's the latest style.”

"Yeah, if you're the pink power ranger," Nina snapped.

Steve dramatically tore off the shirt. The ladies in the crowd screamed over his muscles. He stood up and posed for a few seconds, giving the ladies a good show. "I would do anything, if only my mother would care about me!"

"Dying a horrible death, might do the trick," Nina declared.

"I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that," Steve sang his last plea.

"Guess who is out of luck?" Nina muttered. Steve burst into tears and ran off the stage. His girlfriend Christie stood from her seat in the audience, and rushed to console him.

"His mother must be a real bitch," Anna declared.

"Queen Bitch," Nina replied smirking. "Lets bring out our next guests! Jin and Jun Kazama!" Jin walked out with his mom flying around him fixing his hair. They sat on their stools.

"Hello, Jin," Anna chirped. "Miss Kazama."

"Hi, Anna," Jun replied. "Say, hello Jin."

"Hello, Jin," he replied. She frowned at him. "I mean,” he cleared his throat, “hello."

"Why will you not let him be a fucking man?" Nina demanded.

"He is a man," Jun replied smiling at her beloved son.

"You treat him like he is four," Anna declared nodding.

"He'll always be four in my eyes," Jun said proudly. "Did you remember to brush your teeth? I brought your tooth brush just in case."

"Yes Momma," Jin replied. Jun kissed his cheek.

"I'd just like to drop dead now," Nina muttered.

"Jin, do you make any decisions on your own?" Anna asked.

"Momma, said that making decisions on my own is one of the many tools of the Devil," Jin replied.

"Shut the fuck up!" Nina shouted. "Your mom is crazy."

"I am not," Jun said passionately. "He needs me. Do you realize he almost killed Heihachi?" She was shocked over Jin's unruly behavior.

"What's the big fucking deal?" Nina asked. "I almost kill people on a daily basis." She shook her head in disbelief. “That old, grouchy bastard needs to die.”

"No one would care if he killed Heihachi," Anna revealed softly.

"Let someone else do it," Jun said shaking her head. "His hands are too perfect to be drenched in blood." She cooed at Jin. "Aren't they, sweetie?"

"Yes, Momma," Jin whispered.

"If you say the word, momma. one more fucking time, I'm going to beat the living shit out of you!" Nina shouted.

"Jin, do you have a job?" Anna asked.

"No," he said softly. "Mom . . ." He glanced over at Nina nervously. "She told me I need to concentrate on becoming one with nature."

"Hummm," Jun started chanting. "Looove is the annnswer not waaaaaaaaaaar!" She dragged on the sentence for as long as possible. Nina pulled out her gun and shot her.

"Nina!" Anna said shocked.

"What! She's already dead, it's not like I hurt the bitch," Nina snapped.

"Are you okay Jun?" Anna asked.

"Of course," Jun fluttered happily.

"Jin do you date?" Anna asked.

"No, but I have a girlfriend," he replied.

"What!" Jun shouted shocked. "She's not good enough for you."

"You don't know who it is yet, you crazy house reject," Nina snapped.

"Ooh, background story," Anna squealed. Nina looked at her like she wanted to kill her.

"Of course," Jin replied. "During the Tekken 3 tournament, I wrote her a letter simply stating: "Will you be my Girlfriend. "Check yes or no." She checked yes." Nina started laughing hysterically.

"How romantic," Anna cooed. "What's her name?"

"I can't say right now," Jin replied. "Her mom is . . . strict."

"How lovely for you to introduce our next guest! Julia Chang and her mother Michelle!" Anna called.

How did she figure out it was Julia? Jin wondered.

"She actually checked yes?" Nina asked after catching a breath.

"Yes," Jin replied eyes shining. Nina cracked up again, as Julia and Michelle made their way to their stools.

"Hello Michelle and Julia," Anna said happily.

"Hi," Michelle replied. Julia didn't say a word.

"What's the matter, Jules?" Nina asked. "Did a tree fall down somewhere and you are now mourning its death?" She gotten over her laughing fit.

"That's nothing to joke about," Michelle snapped. Jun nodded her agreement. "I told her she couldn't associate or talk to psychotic whores."

"That's a very good rule," Jun praised. "Jin you can't talk to Anna and Nina anymore. I also don't want you talking to that crazy girl in that pink sundress that always flashes us. The one who wears the purple panties."

"Calling me a slut, is the quickest way for you Flower Power Fucks to travel down Bulletville," Nina declared.

"Why did you warp this child into thinking Arizona was anything but a desert?" Anna demanded.

"I didn't reforest the Arizona Rain Forest because I was so busy hating the Mishimas," Michelle replied. "I'm living that life through Julia."

"It has always been a fucking desert!" Nina snapped. "Why did the American Government let your crazy ass adopt anybody?"

"Momma's been reading me tales of the Arizona Rain Forest since I was a baby," Julia said confused.

"It's a desert!" Nina shouted.

"But Momma said it was once like the Amazon."

"No talking to sluts!" Michelle snapped at Julia. Anna really wanted to stomp Michelle. How dare she call Anna Williams a slut? She was a married lady.

"Guess who just made number two on my hit list?" Nina declared.

"I fear nothing or no one, and least of all you," Michelle snapped.

I'm going to enjoy chopping your legs off with a chain saw, Nina thought smiling with glee. "Julia is Jin's girlfriend," she revealed aloud. She loved instigating stuff. Maybe they'll be a Jerry Springer smack down on her very own show!

Michelle screamed bloody murder. Jun tried to calm her down by chanting. Out of nowhere, Michelle pulls out a bow and arrow. She aims it at Jin. "My daughter will remain a pure goddess forever."

"Believe me, the way Casanova over there spits game. It'll be years before they hold hands," Nina declared. This was so awesome! Maybe she'd hit Jun with that arrow also.

"You will put someone's eye out with that," Jun said shocked.

Anna calmly stood up and then slammed her fist into Michelle's face. The arrow went wild and much to Nina's dismay, it missed Jin by inches. "Man she was getting on my nerves." The arrow hit her beloved Lee in the butt.

"Mother!" Julia stood to rush to her mother's side.

"Sit, or die!" Nina commanded. Julia quickly sat back down.

"Violence is never the answer, Jin," Jun declared.

“Oh, would you give that peace shit a fucking rest!” Nina snapped.

"We are going to do something totally different today," Anna revealed. "My husband and I will take on the challenge of deprogramming Jin."

"And I will do the same with Julia," Nina declared. Julia looked terrified. "She'll be a different girl the next time you fucking see her."

"What about me?" Jun asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Nina declared. In came the men in white. Jun shouted motherly instructions to Jin as she and unconscious Michelle were carried away.

"For the last time," Anna declared to Julia. "Arizona was and always will be a desert. You should concentrate on shopping . . . or reforesting Egypt."

"And once again you prove to the world that you're a dumbass!" Nina declared.

"Actually Arizona is not completely a desert either," Jin replied softly.

"Jin, the next time you get a chance to kill Heihachi, Xiaoyu, or Hwoarang. Do the world a favor and ice the useless bastards." She had not heard a word he muttered.

"You will found out at the end of the season if our methods work or not," Anna declared. "We will cure them of their Water Boy Syndrome."

"Our show next week will be about siblings who hate each other," Nina declared. "And rivalries in general."

"But don't you two hate each other?" Jin asked.

"Oh now he speaks," Nina muttered. "Do us a favor and shut up. Nobody asked you a thing!"

"Arizona is a desert," Julia said softly.

"Yes," Anna cried happily. "The road to recovery is admitting your mistakes."

"Says the stupid, brain dead, bitch who told her to reforest Egypt," Nina snapped. “You worry about your useless charge and I will worry about mine!”

"Well that's our show for today," Anna said happily. "See you next time!"

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. :peace:

[Ikusa]

ROFL!

Excellent a usual. That Waterboy reference with Jin floored me!

Also, you really know how to bring out the bitch in Nina.

Can't wait for the next one!

[Moriamur]

LMFAOBTH!!!

I soooooooooo agree with Jason here...

BRING ON THE NEXT SHOW!!! And again I say... SHOW US MORE NUDITY!!! XD

**gets sniped by Nina** X_X

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Chapter 3: Rivalries

"Welcome to the show!" Anna called happily. The crowd cheered as Anna posed and Nina fumed. "Today our show is about rivalries!"

"We have assembled the strangest, bunch of bastards this world has ever known," Nina declared.

"Their stories are heart-wrenching," Anna pouted.

"We're going to see if we can end these feuds, once and for fucking all," Nina said folding her arms. "And if not, I have my tank parked outside ready to blow these psychos to Hell!"

"I'm with you this time, sis," Anna declared.

I'll knock her out, and then leave her to die, Nina thought smiling sweetly. She settled down gracefully on her stool. Anna quickly did the same.

"Lets bring out our first guest . . . KING!" Anna called. The crowd "roared" as their favorite wrestler strutted to the stage. He sat on the stool on Anna's right. "Hello, King."

"Roar!" King greeted nodding his head.

"Why such animosity toward Craig Marduk?" Anna asked.

"Roaar!" King replied vehemently. Nina frowned in displeasure over his answer.

"He killed your mentor in a bar brawl. And insulted his memory by wearing his mask on national television?" Anna repeated in horror. The crowd booed. "What a creep!"

"Roaar!"

"Why don't you do the world a favor, and learn English! You, fucking bastard!" Nina snapped.

"Your friend Julia, tried to talk you out of this feud, but you couldn't ignore that insult," Anna repeated, ignoring her sister. "I can understand why you could not."

"Explain to me why Armor King had his old wrinkled ass in that bar in the first damn place?" Nina asked calmly.

"Rooar," King replied sadly.

"You forgot it was Bingo Night. And so forgot to pick him up. So he went to the bar to wait for you," Anna repeated. "You, poor thing. I bet you feel so guilty."

"Rooar," King replied softly.

"Rivalries aren't good," Nina declared. "Get a scope gun, and use it to take his ass out. Sweet revenge is food for the soul!"

"Roaar!"

"His honor won't allow him to," Anna repeated.

"Will your honor allow you to hire me to morgue his ass?" Nina asked, her eyes shining in anticipation.

"Rooaar."

"For you lovely lady, I'm willing to make an exception if it will make you happy," Anna repeated giggling.

"Charmed," Nina replied bored. "Lets bring out Bigfoot, Craig Marduk!" Marduk ran out full speed amongst boos. He took the stool beside Nina. "Why did you kill Armor King?"

"It was an accident," Craig replied.

"You accidentally stomped him to death?" Nina muttered.

"That's what I said ain't it?" Marduk snapped.

"You'll be telling your sob story to Satan when I snap your neck! You big dumbass!" Nina declared.

"If it was an accident, why did you taunt King on national television?" Anna demanded.

"Publicity," he replied.

"Roar!"

"What in the hell, did he just say!" Nina demanded.

"You sick, freak!" Anna replied.

"Roar!"

"I mean, you sick, fuck!"

"I am, internally, sorry," Marduk lied.

"Roar," King lied.

"He says that, he forgives you," Anna repeated.

"Roooar!"

"Tell Nina that her offer is acceptable," Anna translated. "Oops," giggle, "Nina your proposal is excepted by King."

"I'm glad that's over," Nina said smirking. "Lets bring out our next guest! King move your roaring ass down a stool!"

"Lets bring out . . . Yoshimitsu!" Anna exclaimed. The Ninja came flying out with the force of his twirling sword.

"What a fucking, weirdo," Nina muttered shaking her head. He landed on the stool King vacated. "Give us your tale of dumbass, woe and be quick about it!"

"I am . . . Yoshimitsu," he revealed. "Before an explosion, I saved a young girl and an android from certain death . . . ."

"Why?" Nina demanded. "Two less bastards to steal my air!"

"It is in my nature to help," he replied nervously. "My friend actually gave the android a new power cell." Yoshimitsu hung his head. "He repaid us by beating up my friend and killing some of my comrades."

"How, awful," Anna wailed. The crowd booed in distaste.

"You have been in two tournaments, with that psychotic, malfunctioning, piece of shit," Nina sniffed. "You are the brain surgeon who delivered your own friends and comrades to him on a silver platter!"

"I will not rest until they are avenged!"

"Word's out, that you dumbasses gave him a power supply, of unlimited means," Nina taunted. "You'll defeat him, when hell freezes over." Besides he's already dead.

"How will you defeat him without sleep?" Anna asked confused.

"My honor is at stake."

"What honor?" Nina demanded. "You steal for a living!" King snickered at that retort.

"I'll defeat him," Craig declared. "There's nobody on Earth that can defeat me!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Nina snapped.

"Make me!" Nina stood and grabbed her trusty sword and held it in inch from his neck. "I'm . . . sorry . . . Ma'am."

"If you say one more thing out of context with me, I'm gonna—"

"I would never disrespect a lady, that is as perfect as you are," he said. He was too scared to swallow. "To make it up to ya, you can go out on a date with me."

"I'd rather date a skunk!" Nina shouted.

"I'd rather date, Yoshimitsu," Anna revealed in horror. "Move down a seat so I can introduce Bryan Fury."

"I wouldn't waste my breath," Nina muttered putting her sword away. "The bastard's dead."

"How?" Anna, Yoshimitsu, King, Marduk, the crowd, this author, and the readers shouted.

"I asked him for his autograph. And he spit in my face," Nina snapped. "I reached down his throat and pulled that power cell out and I ran it over with my steamroller!"

"Are you insane?" Yoshimitsu asked shocked. "You could have destroyed Earth."

"Ask me if I care!" Nina snapped. "No one spits in Nina's face!"

"You could have killed us all," Anna gasped.

"What part of, I don't give a shit, don't you turkeys understand!"

"Nina!" Anna was scandalized.

"In light of these delightful developments, I'll take the liberty of introducing our next psycho," Nina declared. "Hwoarang! Believe or not, Anna thinks he's a success story."

"Let's give him a hand," Anna gushed. Nina's transgression was totally forgotten by her. Hwoarang walked out amongst applause. He flipped the crowd off and sat on his stool. "Hello, Hwoie."

"Whatever."

"He finally got over his obsession with his rival Jin," Anna revealed. Nina snorted in obvious disbelief. "Tell the world, how you did it?"

"Ahh, I was given some outside time for good behavior," Hwoarang started.

"Translation, he broke out," Nina revealed.

"I met Jin at a dojo."

"Translation, he stalked Jin until he saw him enter a dojo."

"We fought it out, and I finally defeated him," Hwoarang said happily. "Because, I finally proved that I'm the best!"

"Translation, Jin let him win."

"Are you telling this story, tramp? Or am I!" Hwoarang demanded.

"Sword, piece, or the hands on approach?" She inquired.

"Neither, thanks," Hwoarang squeaked.

"Jin's evil side, not wanting to be out done by a dumbass, begins to stalk Hwoarang," Nina said smiling.

"You," Hwoarang pointed into the camera, "should have told me you was a Demon Bat Boy, you stupid motherfucker," he snapped. "I've been stalking you and shit for years. I could have been killed!"

"Terrified, Hwoie checked himself back in the looney house," Nina finished.

"I wasn't terrified," he lied. "I was, ah, slightly concerned for my safety." He made a face. "The guy is the demon bat from Jeepers Creepers. Fuck, that shit." He looked around scared. "He isn't here . . . is he?"

"No," Anna replied. "Lee and I, enrolled the boy in college."

Good, Hwoarang thought. Nothing was worse than being stalked!

"Could you give us some info on the fate of Ling Xiaoyu?" Anna asked.

"She disappeared," he replied. "Some of the freaky freaks inside, helped her build a time machine."

"Oh, damn," Nina muttered. "I wonder what damage she's going to inflict on the world." I should have killed her when I had the chance!

"Barney The Dinosaur, will probably be president of the known world once she's finished," Hwoarang muttered. Everyone on stage glared at Yoshimitsu, who wanted to disappear.

"Well that's all we have time for today," Anna said sweetly. "Check out next week, for the continuation of the rival series."

"If you don't, I'll hunt you down like the dogs you are," Nina threatened.

A/N: Mike Epps line from Resident Evil: Apocalypse is hilarious. I had to use it. You know when he found out the guy he invited in the fold got bit by an infected person. Good stuff. Again, I'm sorry for the delay. Please review and more coming soon.

[Moriamur]

Hahahahahaha

What more can I say about this fic?

Nothing since I keep laughing my ass off!

Tammy, I am very glad that you are writing this story since it makes me laugh when I need it. So keep up the good work girl!

[Ikusa]

I concur.

I've actually been printing out the chapter's and showing them to my friends. They get a huge kick out of them.

Keep writing, Tammy.

I hope we see Bryan Fury soon. I could just imagine him shooting up the show... XD

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Chapter 4: The Lee and Kazuya Addition

“Welcome back, to the William Sisters Show!” Anna Williams called happily. “I am sorry for the long hiatus. But someone was determined to get our show canceled. We only just got back our license.” The crowd cheered.

“It was a bunch of bull,” Nina Williams snapped. “I was two seconds from killing anyone and anything, that voted against me and my show!” Her blues eyes shone in malevolence. “We were doing the world a favor, by outing these dumbass bastards. And we’re the ones who get in trouble.”

“Well,” Anna said sighing in utter contentment. “Where were we?”

“Rivalries,” Nina reminded her bored. Nina power walked to her stool scowling the whole way.

“Oh, yes,” Anna said smiling. She walked gracefully to her stool. “We have a very special guest. My husband. The reason that I live, Lee C. Williams. He has a rivalry of sorts with his brother, Kazuya Mishima.” Her blue eyes shone with unshed tears. “I love him so much.”

“Who the fuck cares?” Nina snapped. “Get your ass out here you pampered pansy!” Lee walked out strutting like royalty. He blew a kiss at the crowd and took the sit by Anna after giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Tell us why you and your brother cannot get along,” Anna coaxed gently.

“He’s jealous of me,” Lee replied. “I look way better than him. And my skin is flawless. He has all these ugly scars. and he’s well . . . ugly.”

“I kind of figured that was the reason he treats you so coldly,” Anna replied.

“His heart is black as coal. And mine is pure as gold,” Lee said. “He can’t help but be anything but jealous.”

“That little speech, is reason enough to hate you,” Nina muttered. “Can the fairies, occupying the empty space where your brain is supposed to be, stop fluttering around. So you can concentrate on giving us a valid reason, behind the animosity between you and your brother?”

“It has to be those reasons,” Lee declared running a hand through his silky silver hair. “When we were kids, he was always breaking my mirrors, and pushing me into mud puddles, after I had taken a bath. And put on my good clothes.”

“Nina used to do me the same way when we were kids,” Anna said shocked.

“You are lucky, I didn’t push you off a cliff,” Nina snapped and then she turned on Lee. “I know you didn’t come on this show just to tell us that big pile of shi—"

“Nina, your foul language is the reason we lost our license, in the first place,” Anna reminded her behind a smile.

“So, what? And if you cut me off again I am going to cut you, the hell up,” Nina muttered. “Maybe we will get a better answer from Kazuya Mishima. Get out here!”

Kazuya Mishima walked out on stage. He was in a black suit. His evil eyes were hidden behind his black sunglasses. His handsome face was distorted into a mean scowl. He refused to sit down, so he stood looming beside Nina like the Black Plague.

“Why do you treat your brother so horribly?” Anna asked her voice thick with emotion. Her answer was a withering glare—over his sunglasses—that would scare the fangs off a vampire. “He only wants to be your friend.”

“Does Kazuya look like he knows what a friend is?” Nina asked. She awarded Kazuya with the finger when he gave the top of her head his withering stare. “And who’d want to be friends with that annoying bitch. Except, you?”

“My husband is not annoying!” Anna snapped offended.

“He is, if I say he is,” Nina replied. “Mishima-brat, is there a particular reason why, you will not let this petty rivalry go?” She turned her cold eyes on a now steaming Kazuya. “You’re wasting your time going out of your way to be mean to the likes of Lee.”

“I . . . resent that,” Lee muttered highly offended.

“Cry me and river, and then do the world a favor and drown in it,” Nina replied.

“What happened to Project X?” Kazuya asked surprising everyone by speaking. Lee turned visibly green. “I asked you to do one small task. And you still refuse to tell me what happened to my most prized possession.”

“How could I refuse and you never asked me that before?” Lee asked in a half-hearted tone. The show had officially taken a turn for the worse. He had hoped that Kazuya had forgotten about Project X but obviously that was not the case. He damned his foul luck.

“He just did,” Nina snapped.

“I was, uh, banished from the company before Project X was completed,” he replied so nervous he was shaking. “I don’t know the fate of you precious Project X! So let it go!”

“A random, retarded dumbass, could tell that was a lie,” Nina muttered.

“Nina!” Anna said horrified.

“You want him to stop treating you badly,” Nina said bored. “This is your chance, Nancy. Tell your brother what happened to his precious project.”

“He’s going to be mad a me,” Lee whined. “I am innocent of all wrong doing.”

“Tell him!”

“One day, all those years ago, Father was being difficult,” Lee said in defeat. “He actually had me doing chores. After that horrible experience was over, I drowned my sorrows with a few drinks.”

“That is understandable,” Anna said gently.

“Afterwards, I went inside the lab, to check on the status of Project X,” Lee replied. “The doctor, I never cared to learn his name, told me that everything was going along according to schedule. He left, and soon I got bored, and decided to watch television. My favorite show was on, and it gave me an idea.”

“No one will blame you for that,” Anna declared.

“I didn’t know it would work.”

“What did you do?” Nina snapped.

“I added some ingredients to the project,” Lee said sweat visibly pouring from his handsome face. “I didn't know it would work.”

“For the love of god, if you don't get to the fucking point soon, I will fucking kill you!” This threat was made, simultaneously, by Nina Williams and Kazuya Mishima.

“The ingredients I added were sugar, spice, and everything, uh, nice.” Kazuya growled, Nina laughed evilly, and Anna looked dumbstruck. “I didn't know it would work!”

“You, fool!” Kazuya exclaimed.

“You can't blame him, for you being dumb enough, to put him over an important project,” Nina declared. “You were dooming the project to fail.”

“I resent that,” Lee said insulted.

“I'm, scared,” Nina replied bored.

“Where is Project X now?” Kazuya asked icily. He was trying his best to remain calm. He would kill Lee later.

“Well, u-um, Project X calls himself, Steve Fox,” Lee replied. “When he developed into a baby, I quickly realized that my ingredients worked, so I got rid of the evidence.”

Screw calm. Kazuya changed into his devil form. “You, bastard!” Nina watched in evil awe as his wings started to flap. His feet left the ground. “I asked you to do that one thing and you ruined it!”

“It's not his fault!” Anna declared frowning.

“Be quiet!” Devil snapped. Nina had the good sense to abandon her stool so she did not stand in the way of the carnage. “I am going to kill you!”

“I did as you asked,” Lee tried to reason with him. “I watched over Project X. When it failed, I got rid of it.”

“It failed, because you are a Dumbass,” Nina declared loudly. “From reading between the lines, I gather Project X was supposed to be a pure evil being. Steve Fox is a pink loving, purely good, Power Puff Girl.”

Nina's words fueling his anger, Kazuya shot red beams of light out of his eyes at a now terrified Lee. Anna activated a force field around her husband, saving him just in the nick of time. Kazuya Mishima commenced to completely destroy the set of the show.

“Will Nina and Anna ever finish their Rivals show? Will Xiaoyu show up again with news of her time travels? Find out soon!

To Be Continued . . . .

A/N: Project X is from Power Puff Girls. This chapter is shorter than I thought. Next up is Asuka Kazama. Thanks for the comments. :nod:

[Ikusa]

More! More!

:clap:

[Ikusa]

I've been sharing the show with everyone.

I have some friends reading it right now, and they're behind me ROFL.

With your permission, I want to share it on some other places.

I will credit you.

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Sure, I don't mind. lol

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Chapter 5: The Groupie

The audience was more than a little nervous. The last time that they were in attendance of the Williams sisters' show, Kazuya Mishima destroyed the set and almost killed everyone in a two-mile radius. Nina Williams had the time of her life on that crazy day. Some in the crowd were sure that she aided Kazuya in his quest to kick Lee Chaolan's butt.

The audience wondered about the rationale of their decision of returning, when Nina marched out like nothing out of the ordinary happened on the last episode and Anna waltz out like she was a princess. Even Lee was at his usual place behind the main camera, as if he did not have a clue that a homicidal Demon Barney Bat was determined to kill him. “Welcome to the show!” Anna called all smiles.

“We had to cut the last show short. Because of technical difficulties,” Nina said snickering evilly. “Technical difficulties being . . . that stupid force field actually worked and saved Lee's idiot ass.”

“The wait wasn't as long as last time, though,” Anna declared brightly. “We are continuing our series on Rivalries. I do hope we get finished soon.” She was anxious to do her Valentines Day episode event.

"Our guest today is a teenage girl, who has put it in her little teenage rebel iPod, that she must defeat a martial arts expert named, Feng Wei, for kicking her dad's old ass." Nina shook her head in distaste. She knew this was about to be an unpleasant experience.

“Audience, please give a respectable applause to . . . Kazama Asuka!” Anna announced as if she were introducing a sports team. Anna and her fans in the audience clapped respectfully. Nina and her fans rolled their eyes heavenward.

Asuka walked out, with her arms folded across her chest, looking like she was bored with the world. She sat on her stool and glared at the audience, a silent threat that she was ready to kick butt, at the drop of a hat.

Nina took the chair to Asuka's right. Anna sat in the chair to her left. The vacant stool on the stage was for Feng Wei, who would not be caught dead on a talk show. There was no point for him being there anyway. He had no clue that an Asuka Kazama actually existed, and after being alerted of her existence by Anna, could care less that she considered him her rival.

“Why are you determined to defeat Feng Wei?” Anna asked smiling.

“That psycho showed up at my father's dojo destroyed it. And beat the crap out of our students, and my father,” Asuka said angrily. “Father was put in the hospital. And I plan to avenge every drop of blood that fell spilled for his body.”

“You are a very loyal daughter,” Anna praised her.

“You, damn right,” Asuka replied. “I stand against any injustice in this world. Especially, when it has something to do with my gentle father.”

“Did he teach you everything you know about Martial Arts?” Nina asked bored.

“Of course.”

“Then, how the hell do you think you can defeat Feng Wei, if your dad couldn't?” Nina asked. “Are you going to whip out a wand in turn to Sailor Moon? Or maybe call upon the help of Voltron. He is going to kick your ass!”

“I am young,” Asuka replied in annoyance. “My father is old and not as flexible as he used to be. My youth and my anger will help me avenge our honor.”

“I will repeat,” Nina replied, “your ass is as good as kicked.”

“You are wrong,” Asuka said. “And if you keep insulting me, I will demonstrate my skills by kicking your ass in the next tournament.”

“Why don't you bring it now, princess,” Nina said anything but scared. “I'll beat you like you stole something. And then send your stupid ass back to your local daycare center.”

“I'll see you in the tournament,” Asuka said threateningly.

“It will be your last day alive, you wannabe rebel,” Nina promised.

Anna laughed nervously. “There are far better reasons to fight in the tournament,” she declared. “You have an aunt named Kazama Jun, do you not?”

“I did once have an aunt by that name,” Asuka replied. “She turned her back on us before I was even born.”

“She must have foreseen you to be an dumbass, and ran for the fucking hills,” Nina declared.

“She has a son. Who I believe, you have met,” Anna declared, charging ahead before Asuka could reply and get herself killed by Nina.

“Then why did he not introduce himself?” Asuka demanded. “Who is it?”

“Kazama Jin,” Anna replied after pausing dramatically. Asuka stared at her blankly. “Big, handsome guy, with spiky black hair . . .”

“Never heard of him,” Asuka said in dismissal. That description was of most of the guys from the Tekken Tournament. “Why should I care about him? His mom turned her back on Father?”

“Are you and your saint dad dating, or something?” Nina snapped.

“How dare you?” Asuka shouted. “I am two seconds for kicking the crap out of you, granny!”

“That is it,” Nina said. “You will sit there. And you will shut the hell up. Or I will slit your throat, and then drink your blood.” Nina started flashing her butcher knife. Having the good sense to be afraid, Asuka swallowed, touching her hand to her precious neck. “My god, you remind me of that redheaded bastard, Hwoarang. I have little tolerance for him, and none for you!”

“Hwoarang isn't that bad,” Anna said speculatively. Nina had given her an idea of a love match in Asuka and Hwoarang. The two did have such bad tempers. A match made in heaven. “He just acts like he was raised by wolves. There's nothing wrong with being raised by wolves. In today's modern society, being raised by—"

“Shut the hell up,” Nina commanded. “And then introduce our next guest!”

“Welcome, Paul Phoenix and Kuma!”

“Ah shit, I am going home!” Nina roared. “Paul Phoenix should be put an asylum for coming here, and actually trying to explain his so called rivalry with, that Winnie-the-Pooh reject.” She growled in anger.

Paul and Kuma, upon hearing Nina's insult, refused to come out. Both males were reconsidering her being their greatest rival. “Nina,” Anna said in warning.

“I would've had Kuma's head mounted on my wall, years ago!”

“Nina,” Anna repeated nervously.

“This is ri-fucking-diculous!”

“I agree with Nina,” Asuka declared. “This Paul character is obviously a dumbass.” She wondered who in their right mind would actually own up to having an animal as their rival.

“And, you aren't?” Nina asked. “Feng Wei, can and will beat the living shit out of you, if you persist in seeking him out.” She looked sideways at the girl, who was glaring at her. “Even I know not to mess with that bastard.” Surprisingly, Asuka looked to be considering Nina's words. If Nina was weary of Feng, maybe she should be too . . .

“We seem to be having a situation,” Anna said after reading the signals Lee sent to her with his hands. “Our next two guests are refusing to come out unless Nina apologizes.” She knew that, that would happen when Hell became the new hangout spot for polar bears and penguins.

“The only thing those two clowns will get from me, is kicks in the asses. Or death by bullets,” Nina replied. “They stink and they are stupid. Who in the hell would miss them?”

“I wouldn't!” Asuka declared. She officially had a new idol. This Nina was awesome. One day she, Kazama Asuka, would strike fear in peoples hearts like Nina Williams. Believe it! “I vote death by bullets!” Asuka started nodding her head as if she was listening to a Heavy Metal song. Both Anna and Nina gave the teen a surprised look.

“Teenagers are so damn fickle,” Nina muttered.

“Well since this is going nowhere,” Anna muttered. “We best end the show here before Nina and her new sidekick, kills our other guests who refuse to come out.”

“I should kill you for actually inviting those two clowns on my show,” Nina ranted. “We have two episodes left. One is a mystery episode that Anna refuses to tell me what it is about. If it is something stupid, I will shove the studio camera up her husband's ass on national television.” Lee looked terrified. “You guys will see it live and in concert.”

“It is not stupid,” Anna said happily. “I assure you.” She smiled brightly. “Our final episode will be an update on our guests lives, since they graced the stage of our show.”

“If they haven't made some kind of mother fucking progress, I am going to kill them,” Nina declared. “It is ridiculous that people that mental unbalanced are still living. And I shall rectify the situation.”

“And I'll help,” Anna replied. A sinister smile crept on her lips. “Thanks for watching.”

“And don't even try to hide you psychotic bastards!” Nina warned. “We will find you!”

“Damn straight!” Asuka declared.

“Oh, shit,” Hwoarang muttered terrified. He cut off his television almost shaking in fear. “I better be on my very best behavior. Or they are going to kill me.” In different parts of world, other fighters who made the unfortunate decision to come on the show, had almost the exact reaction.

A/N: My next chapter will be Anna's Wharmony(dot)com episode event. I bet Nina will love that. This one is not as funny as my first, second, and fourth chapters, but I still like it. Thanks for the reviews and such. It is nice to know that I can bring people laughs with my writing. Laughter is food for any soul.

[Moriamur]

Maaaaan...

This epi had me laughing for quiet a while, please keep this good shit up Tammy, cause I am very much loving every moment off this fic

[Ikusa]

lmao

Is anyone a bigger bitch than Nina?

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Chapter 6: wHarmony dot com

“Our show today is about . . . romance,” Anna Williams said in a seductive tone.

“I do not get paid enough for this shit,” Nina Williams muttered.

“I even got a chance to set my sister up on a blind date,” Anna revealed. The crowd looked shocked.

“Remind me to kill you for that later," Nina replied.

“You know you liked it,” Anna replied. “He was your match and every way.”

“That's for damn sure,” Nina replied. Anna beamed. “He wants to kill you too.” Anna's face fell. “Lets get this fucking show started!” The sisters rushed to their stools.

“Let me introduce our first guest,” Anna said. “My beautiful husband . . . Lee C. Williams!”

“Kill. Me. Now,” Nina moaned in horror. Anna hurried over and met her husband and they strutted to the stage like the peacocks they were dressed like. Nina could imagine gutting them both with pitchforks. The blood . . . the absolute carnage. A pretty smile graced his face. “So what do we owe this horror?” she asked sweetly.

“I am going to let the world know how we fell in love,” Anna declared.

“Do the world a favor and don't,” Nina replied. “We don't want to hear that shit.”

“It was so totally love at first sight,” Lee declared. He smiled and started shaking his head so his silver hair would fly flattering around his face.

“You are so beautiful,” Anna declared.

“I know,” Lee replied. “We do everything together. Work together.”

“Cry together,” Anna threw in.

“Fight together,” said Lee.

“Cheat together,” Nina declared.

“Well he did say we do everything together,” Anna replied giggling.

“Guess what? You two are going to die together, if you do not shut the hell up,” Nina snapped. Anna and Lee swallowed nervously. “If you don't introduce our next guest, I am going to—”

“Our next guest is the handsome and charming Hwoarang,” Anna declared quickly. A screen lit up and on that screen was Hwoarang. He was in lock down. He wore a straight-jacket over his clothes. He'd escaped after Devil Jin lost interest in trying to kill him. Hwoarang had checked himself back in the hospital to appease the two sisters.

“Not that dumbass clown, again,” Nina muttered.

“Hwoarang, I'm thinking of setting you up with one of the Tekken girls,” Anna said.

“No, thanks,” he replied. “None of them are perfect enough to tempt me. Besides, I have to concentrate on staying alive.” DOA girls are so much hotter. I should join that competition too!

“How about Christie Monteiro?” Anna asked. “She is pretty.”

“She talks too much, and she wears too much perfume,” Hwoarang replied. He made a face. “You can drown in that shit.” He looked thoughtful. “Besides, she is dating that boxer from hell.”

“How about Julia Chang?”

“Hell, no,” Hwoarang replied. “The only way I'd go out with her if she was gagged. Do I look like I give a fuck about reforest-fucking-station? I don't even know what it is. If I wanted to date a tree hugger, I'd date Mokujin or Captain Planet. At least they have to leave to go rejuvenate.” He made a face. “Besides, Psycho Devil Jin would kill me.”

“You're, mean,” Anna and Lee decided. “What about Ling Xiaoyu?”

“Sure, if she loses the ability to speak,” Hwoarang muttered, “and stops taking hyper pills. Or stop smoking whatever it is she smokes, cause she is on something.”

“Rude, much,” Anna said in distaste.

“In fact, my dream girl cannot speak at all,” he replied. “She just sits there. And I'll do the talking. When I say jump . . . she jumps.”

“That is if you can find someone who is dumb enough, to put up with your bullshit!” Nina raged. “Get him off the screen!”

“Nina, you are no fun,” Lee whined.

“This is stupid!” Nina exclaimed. “Just show my blind date so I can get out of here!”

“Nina,” Anna whined.

“We know we cannot pay anyone to date that loser!” Nina shouted. “And no one gives a flying fuck about your relationship with Lee. Valentine's Day is just another day to kill on.”

“I have more matches to make,” Anna said tearfully.

“The only match that will be lit, is the one I am going to light to burn this place, down!”

“I see Nina hasn't taken her pills today,” Lee muttered.

“Fuck you!” Nina snapped. “End this show in five minutes are face the fucking consequences!”

“Okay,” Anna squeaked. “But can we cut to Julia's letter first. She is going to explain exactly how she keeps Devil Jin in check.”

“She threatens his life, like I taught her,” Nina replied. “I told her if he gets out of hand, shoot the bastard!”

“Please,” Anna said, her blue eyes wide.

“No!” Nina shouted. “We find out stuff like that in the last episode, Dumbass!”

“You're no fun,” Anna pouted.

“You have five seconds to do as I tell you,” Nina said, her tone suggesting pain if she was not obeyed.

“Alright,” Anna said mournfully. Nina had ruined her special episode within five minutes of it. “As you all know, I set Nina up on a blind date.”

“What I cannot believe, is that someone actually wanted to go out with her!” Hwoarang ranted.

“My sister can get plenty guys,” Anna said in defense. If she would stop putting the fear of god into them, that is.

“Once it is revealed that the stupid rooster on the screen, has not changed at all,” Nina said bored. “We kill him first, right?”

“Yes,” Anna replied happily.

“I have too changed, you evil bitches!” Hwoarang ranted.

“The world knows we could not pay Nina to go on a date. My brother Mishima Kazuya is the same way,” Lee declared, smiling for benefit of the camera.

“Well, that's a match made in Hell,” Hwoarang said surprised.

“Will you shut the fuck up!” Nina ranted.

“Well excuse me,” Hwoarang said in exaggeration. “I was just trying to liven up the show.”

“As I was saying,” Lee said nervously, “Anna and I had to devise a way to get the two in the same spot and place at a certain time. I told my brother, Kazuya-san that Otosama, also known as Heihachi Mishima, would be in the park.” Pleased with his actions, Lee grinned.

“And I told Nina, that Hwoarang, Heihachi, Lee, Xiaoyu, Gon, Alex, Jun, Michelle, Kuma, Panda, Steve, and Marshall would all be at this place too,” Anna said proudly.

“Of course I went,” Nina muttered. “All those bastards are on my “To Die” list."

"To sweeten the pot, we actually had Otosama there." Lee smiled, his eyebrows wiggling in his excitement. Anna, nodding happily, giggled.

And people call me, a crazy bitch, Nina thought. Her eyes rolled heavenward. These two fucking weirdoes, are bat shit crazy. “To make a dumbass story short, which these two assholes would make last for fifteen fucking hours long. We killed that old bag of dumbass bones and then went to see a movie.”

“Did you like the movie?” Anna asked with interest.

“Yes, especially when Kazuya went Devil mode, and beat the shit out of everyone in the cinema!” She grinned evilly. “Best moment ever.”

“What did you go see?” Anna asked.

“Gone With the Wind.”

“Wait,” Lee commanded. The surprise was evident in the tone of his voice. “How did you kill him? I have been trying to, every since he adopted me. And nothing has worked.”

“Oh, that was easy. We cut the bastard up and sent the parts to different areas of the solar system,” Nina replied. “I'd like to see that bastard try to make a Mishima resurrection. He'll be missing a bazillion parts, that are majorly important.”

“Are you serious?” Lee asked horrified.

“Cutting him up was Kazuya's idea,” Nina said proudly. “All the other stuff was mine.”

Anna and Lee looked at each other in horror. Did they just create a couple that would figure out a way to kill them? Then they smirked; let Kazuya and Nina try. They would be sadly mistaken if they thought Lee and Anna would be so easily killed. Plus, they knew how to use the sibling guilt card on their respective sibling. It kept them alive for many of years.

“Can I please introduce more of our couples?” Anna asked hopefully.

“Hell no,” Nina replied. “And Kazuya and I are not a couple. That is such a stupid ass term.”

“Is Insane Killers with Benefits a better term?” Lee asked smirking. A glare from Nina had him clinging to Anna for dear life.

“This fucking show is over,” Nina snapped. “I am ten seconds from killing every fucking person in this damn place and locating all the viewers and killing them also.”

“On that note, I think we should end this right now,” Anna said, visibly sweating. “Our finale episode is only a teardrop away. You all better hope that you have changed. Or my sister and I will kill you.”

“Damn straight,” Nina muttered.

Author's Notes: LOL, Nina ruined Anna’s romantic episode before it even began. Did you honestly think she would let that discussion continue?

The last chapter will be longer than the others. Who will survive? :ninja:

[Moriamur]

Oh My FUCKING GOOOOD!!!

This episode had me laughing like crazy!

And well let Nina try to kill me, I'm armed enough to survive the onslaught... So Nina...

BRING IT ON!!! You blond haired, but hot assed, bitch!

Tammy, you seriously had me laughing double with this epi, can't wait for the finals!

EDIT: The parts of Hwoarang had me lying double as well, especially of him thinking about the DoA girls

[Ikusa]

I couldn't have said it any better than Michel!

Great stuff, Tammy! :nod:

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken or the characters within the series. This series and the characters within it, are the property of Namco. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 7: Smeagol Returns

“Welcome to the last episode of this mother fucking show!” Nina Williams said angrily. She looked beautiful but deadly in a black leather jacket and pants set.

“Yay!” Anna squealed in excitement. She looked sexy but deadly in a little pink dress. “It's killing time!” Their audience applauded loudly. “Now normally we would call out our first guest. But since he is dead . . . it will be totally pointless!”

“Can I get a hell, yeah?” This question came from the president of the Nina Williams's Fan club as the two sisters rushed to their stools.

“Hell, yeah!” The audience obediently exclaimed. Nina smirked in satisfaction of the greeting.

“Oh, it is so not fair that you got to kill one of our guests first,” Anna complained. “It appears that the big assassin in the sky loves the bitches of the craft, more so than the princesses.”

“Who? Or what the fuck, is the big assassin in the damn sky?” Nina asked, rolling her eyes heavenward.

“Our deity,” Anna explained patiently. “I get to kill the next one.”

“If you don't shut up . . . you are going to be the next one to die,” Nina snapped. “There is no reason for you to be complaining. You and your idiot, bitch of a husband are the reason why, I go the first kill. Or have you forgotten that, you brain-dead flamingo!”

“Oh, be quiet,” Anna commanded. “There is nothing to do, but to introduce our next guest.” The audience was shocked over her audacity. When she was an assassin mode, Nina didn't intimidate her in the least.

“If you ever tell me something like that again. I will take pleasure in beating the crap out of your useless wife Lee,” Nina warned, “And then try my very best to shove what is left of him up your ass!”

“Hwoarang, get your cute little butt out here!” Anna exclaimed determined not to let Nina destroy her happiness over this occasion.

Hwoarang walked out slowly. He had on a brown suit and tie. His unruly hair was slicked back by massive amounts of hair gel. To complete the ensemble he wore a pair of glasses.

“What is the stupid, bastard up to now?” Nina muttered in amusement.

“Oh fabulous, you got a make over.” Anna clapped and was all smiles.

“Precisely.” Hwoarang sat on the stool next to Nina. At least she warned a person she was about to kill them before doing so. Anna would probably slit his throat and then serve everyone tea and cakes, like a murder had not just occurred. He wanted advanced notice of doom so he could try and escape. “I am a college student now. And so I needed a new wardrobe to reflect that change in my life.”

“What college accepted you?” Nina asked bored. “The University of Dumbshits?” Anna giggled over the question.

“Fuck you!” Hwoarang ranted. “I have you know that I have a 4.0 grade point average.” He remembered where he was in swallowed hard. Calm down idiot! You are going to get yourself killed.

“In what?” Anna asked intrigued.

“Coloring or stacking up Lego blocks,” Nina muttered.

Anna found her words hilarious. “Or 'the most likely to end up in a chain gang' class,” Anna said. Nina snickered in amusement.

“You mean, psychotic bitches,” Hwoarang muttered. “For your info . . . I was born a genius.” School work had always came easily to him. Well the few times he actually attended class. This return to the place he despised most was to appease the evil sisters from hell who wanted to kill him.

“You honestly want us to believe that you are a genius?” Anna asked in disbelief.

“All of my professors are in the crowd,” Hwoarang said. “They'll confirm it. And I also brought my grade reports.”

“I don't care about all that,” Nina snapped. “If you are an actual genius. And, yet, you let your mission in life be stalking Jin Kazama . . . Then you deserve to be ripped into little pieces.”

“I concur.” Anna smiled angelically.

“I admit that it was stupid of me to spend most of my adult life stalking him. But I have changed,” Hwoarang muttered. “I'll never bother that boring, bastard again.” He folded his powerful arms. “I also admit that my change has occurred because I am scared shitless of you two bitches. And that fucking, demon bat, Devil.”

“He does have a point there,” Anna said slowly. “He hasn't made contact with Jin in a very long time. The change was prompted by fear, but there is a change in his behavior all the same.”

“Shit,” Nina muttered.

“Going by the contract that he signed before coming on the show . . . he is safe.” Anna was upset that it wasn't yet her time to kill but soon her mood brightened. “Nina, we actually succeeded in changing someone.”

“That is bull shit and you know it! He is the same stupid, rooster that he was in the beginning,” Nina muttered. “Can't that be reason enough to end his infuriating, waste of an existence?”

“Not staying in bounds with the contract,” Anna replied. “You don't want to end up in jail . . . do you?” Anna asked.

“Wait a minute,” Hwoarang demanded in horror. “You mean that contract I signed said something about killing me?” The parts he had scanned was about free perks and the fact that Jin would also be in the city.

“Should have read the fine print, bitch,” Nina snapped. “I was looking forward to killing this one.”

“Uh-oh,” Anna said. “You better stay on her nice side, Hwoarang. Don't give her a reason to kill you.”

“Breath wrong around me . . . and you are dead,” Nina declared, presenting the terrified Hwoarang with her iciest glare.

“Noted.” Hwoarang smirked in victory. Yes! All he had to do was avoid her and all would be cool.

“Drop out of college . . . and you are dead.”

“Hell, no,” Hwoarang replied. “That is not fair!” He had planned to quit after surviving the show. I don't want to go back there!

“Get within a one mile radius of Jin . . . you're dead.” This sweet command came from Anna. “That means you broke the contract.”

“No problem there,” Hwoarang muttered. “I live!” He hooted with joy.

“Annoy me and die!” Anna and Nina snapped in annoyance.

“You two are some very mean bitches, do you know that?” Hwoarang asked deflating. He sat back down on his stool.

“Thanks.”

That wasn't a damn compliment, Hwoarang thought glaring at both sisters. “Is Jin here today?”

“He will be,” Anna replied happily.

“Well I am getting the hell out of here,” Hwoarang declared. “No need in being in the same building, where three evil beings want me dead.” He got up and hurried for the exit. “Here's hoping Jin hasn't changed. And you two have to kill him, and that idiot demon that shares his body with him!” He stalked out of the exit, the doors slamming behind him.

“Who are the three evil beings after him?” Anna asked confused.

“You, yourself, and Anna,” Nina snapped.

“Oh, he must have been talking about you,” Anna declared. “Our next guest had the nerve to disappear on us. We are scandalized by the entire affair.”

“Scandalized.” Nina repeated in a bored tone that meant she did not possess the ability to become scandalized.

“Apparently, Ling Xiaoyu hooked up with a scientist in the asylum and the man built her a time machine. She went back in the past to try to make the Mishimas' a loving family.”

“Seeing as how she is about as smart as the retard rooster that just left and nothing has changed. I am going to take a wild guess, and declare her stupid mission . . . a dumb ass failure,” Nina muttered.

“She is back, in the present, and will tell us if her stalker days are over.” Anna smiled, enthusiastically. “Audience and guest, I present to you, the lovely, Ling Xiaoyu.”

Xiaoyu power waved at the crowd as she skipped on the stage. She sat on the stool Hwoarang had just vacated. “Hi, everybody!” She smiled brightly. “I bet you missed me.”

“Don't count on that, you diabolical little pixie!” Nina snapped. Happy care-free people like Xiaoyu pissed her off.

“I had so much fun in the past,” Xiaoyu declared.

“Then, you should have stayed there and rotted!”

“I wanted to, but I got sent back here.” Xiaoyu looked unhappy. “I had a great life back then.”

“Who sent you back, so I can kill them?” Nina asked alarmed.

“Hei-kun's father.”

“Who in the hell is that?”

“A Mishima boy that I met.” She looked devastated.

Anna studied her demeanor closely. “You really didn't want to come back . . . did you?” Xiaoyu shook her head looking completely miserable. “What about Jin?”

“Hei-kun needed me more. And he appreciated me a lot more,” Xiaoyu replied. “He was a lot like me, but was stifled by his father.”

“If that little asshole was anything like you. I hold no ill will toward his father for beating the living shit out of him,” Nina muttered.

“I wonder what happened to him?” Xiaoyu asked softly. “I look exactly how I did before I left. And I wonder if he does too. Did that time with Hei-kun really happen at all? Over three years had passed before I was sent back to this time.”

“Three years,” Anna replied in surprise. Xiaoyu still looked no older than fifteen.

“It is like Hei-kun never even existed to begin with. And through him I thought I had changed the bleak future of the Mishimas.”

“Go back, please!” Nina commanded.

“Even if I go back, I was banished. So I will never see Hei-kun or Kazu-chan, again.”

“I have never heard of those Mishimas,” Anna muttered.

“But I have, my beloved.” Lee Chaolan Williams stood from his position in the director's chair.

“Ooh, I can always count on you, sweetheart.”

“Boo! Quit trying to bore us to death. You two clowns can count on Nina-senpai to kill you, if you don't hurry up. And get to the damn point!” This was another out burst from the president of Nina's fan club. She knew Nina like an open book and she almost beamed with evil delight when Nina nodded at her in approval.

“How rude,” Lee said in disdain as he strutted onto the stage. “I know them . . . because I was raised by one, and raised with the other.”

Nina understood his words rather quickly but it took the other occupants on the stage a little longer figure it out. Too long for Nina's taste. “Oh come on, Heihachi and Kazuya, you dipshits!”

“Ew, Heihachi and Hei-kun are not the same person.” Xiaoyu was visibly horrified over the suggestion. “Heihachi was alive when the dinosaurs roamed the Earth. There was definitely no dinosaurs in Hei-kun's time.”

“My father looked over a bazillion years old. But he really wasn't that ancient,” Lee replied. “You know, I was told he was pretty cool when he was young. That is until his wife disappeared. After that bazaar event, his brain shifted into neutral. And he became obsessed with his company and other absurd things like torturing Kazuya and myself.”

Something clicked inside Nina's mind. “Holy crap, is Tinkerbell here Kazuya's mother?” That explained so much.

Lee nodded nervously. “Father adopted me after she had disappeared. But I now believe it is a fact, after hearing her story. It would explain why Father dotes on Xiaoyu-chan so much.”

Nina chuckled evilly over this new development. “I was right. I always figured that bastard crawled right out of hell.”

“Ooh, Kazu-chan grew up to be bad! I am going to beat his ass when we get home.”

“You really should,” Nina agreed. “It is never too late to curb awful behavior.” Anna and Lee snickered over Nina's words. All three would be amused over the antics that Kazuya and his new found mother would have. “Beat the living shit out of him.”

“Right!” Xiaoyu clapped in happiness over the new project. “Yay!”

“Ugh, you were obsessed with your own grandson,” Anna said. “How disturbing.”

“He's going down the wrong path too! I'm gonna have my hands full.”

“Don't worry. We fixed him,” Anna declared.

“Are you still obsessed with him?” Nina asked softly. “If you are, Anna is going to kill you.” Anna nodded and then smiled angelically at Xiaoyu.

“I was never obsessed with Jin,” Xiaoyu said shocked. “Besides, Hei-kun was a lot more interesting than him. That is . . . before he got old, crazy, and senile.”

“I just don't believe you.” Anna's voice was deceptively calm and sweet. “I have every right to kill you.”

“Do it,” Nina egged her on.

“But . . . my husband and I wish for you to curve some of Kazuya's more unruly of habits. So you may live.”

“What?!” Nina shouted in horror. “I've been wanting this hyperactive Teletubby to die, from the moment that she skipped into my life.”

“You are the one that gave me the idea to have her to torment Kazuya.”

Nina was torn over this development. On the one hand she wanted Xiaoyu to die but on the other hand, she wanted to piss Kazuya off. And if it was all possible, she wanted one are both to die. She smirked as she came up with the answer. It was highly possible that Kazuya never got over his rivalry with Lee, so if he was going to be assassinated then by default, Xiaoyu would be killed too! Complete win, win situation!

Xiaoyu's annoying giggle broke through her thoughts. “It is not like you two could kill me anyway.” Faster than she could blink Nina had a sword aimed at her chest and Anna had a gun resting at her temple. “Cool! I did not see you guys move at all! Do it again, please! Are you guys sure you never played tennis? Your eye-hand coordination is amazing!”

Nina and Anna looked at each other in awe of Xiaoyu's obliviousness of her plight. They slowly lowered their weapons. “This fucking lunatic is proof positive, that becoming a mother, does not make you wiser,” Nina muttered.

“Here's hoping Kazuya has fun.” Lee snickered in happiness.

“Are we going to Hell for doing this?” Anna wondered.

“We're going there anyway. So who the fuck cares?”

“Speak for yourself,” Anna commanded. ”There is no way I am going to that horrid place.”

“You are an assassin, you crazy asshole. There is no you are not going.” Nina glared at Xiaoyu who was finding their exchange hilarious. “Who is the next guest in our Smeagol section?”

“Remember, the only other one was killed by you and Kazuya,” Anna pointed out.

“Oh, yeah.” Nina perked up considerably. “Operation Smeagol is a success.”

“I agree, I talked with Jin Kazama and he said that neither Hwoarang nor Xiaoyu has bothered him lately. and since he lives with my husband and myself, we both can vouch for his statement.”

“Time to switch to operation Water boy,” Nina declared. “Hopefully we'll get to kill over half of these bastards.” By half she meant Anna's group.

Author's Notes: I planned for the last chapter to be one big one but I decided it flows better like this. I am still writing the final chapter and is very close to finishing it. More parts of final chapter will be coming sooner than you think.

[Moriamur]

...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

NOT A CLIFFHANGER!!!

You are evil Tammy... EVIL I TELL YA!

And yet I still luv ya, since once again you had me in laughter during this entire episode...

Also Ling Xiaoyu (See I Owe You... XD) being Kazuya's mother and Heihachi's wife..?

I smell a sitcom spin-off fic right there!

This is still some freaking awesome shit girl, and I am loving it..!

The fact that we've waited a year for this chapter, it was indeed well worth the wait...

Really I can not wait for the next episode, keep up the good stuff Tammy!

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken or the characters within the series. This series and the characters within it, are the property of Namco. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 8: The Devil

“Time to switch to operation Water boy,” Nina declared. “Hopefully we'll get to kill over half of these bastards.” By half she meant Anna's group.

“Here's hoping.” Anna sighed dramatically. By half she meant Nina's group. “Please audience join me in welcoming our next guests, Jun Kazama and Michelle Chang.”

“Those two evil bitches insulted us their last visit, right?” Nina asked as the two women gracefully walked on the stage.

Anna frowned over the question and then nodded. The two women would not get a greeting from her!

“If one of you say one thing out of line in reference to us . . . you're dead.”

“We would not dream of insulting anyone,” Jun replied in disbelief.

“I just would like to take this opportunity, to point out that Julia did reforest our tribal lands. Which means that 'the Arizona is only a desert' theory was untrue.”

“And I would like to take this opportunity to point out, that I can and will, kill you,” Nina snapped back.

“You had her believing that Arizona was a rain forest,” Anna pointed out. “Part of it is a desert. And I dare you to disagree with us.”

“How's my Jin?” Jun asked oblivious to the tension surrounding her.

“First things first, do you still plan to smother him?” Nina demanded. “Please tell me our treatment did not work. So Anna can kill you.”

“But I'm already dead.”

“We are Williams', we will find away to kill the dead,” Anna explained calmly. “Nina has already killed Bryan.”

“I understood your treatments and even agree. I may have went a little overboard.”

“You're brushing his teeth for him and he is in his twenties!”

“I thought I was protecting him from all the evils of this world.”

“The evils of gingivitis, bad hair days, and getting laid?” Anna asked dryly.

“And Devil of course,” Jun replied.

“You're doing this mom shit all wrong, Tinkerbell,” Nina declared. “I have a useless pansy that is my own spawn. But since he is an adult, the extent of my involvement, is killing unsavory characters who try to kill him. Now if that brainless peacock, walks off a cliff . . . that's on his stupid ass. I am not going to be at the bottom to catch him. And if I am at the bottom, it is to stomp him even further into the ground. I do a damn good job of pretending as if the the asshole doesn't even exist.”

“That's not a good example,” Xiaoyu declared.

“Shut up!”

“You have a son?” Anna was traumatized. “Since when?”

“Since . . . none of your damn business!”

“I think I understand what you are telling me to do,” Jun said slowly.

“Who says dead bitches cannot learn new tricks,” Nina muttered.

“So . . . how's Jin?” Jun asked.

“You can ask him that yourself,” Anna said sweetly. “Jin Kazama, get your classy little ass out here.” She inwardly squealed as she waited on baited breath for everyone to see the transformation she and Lee had giving him. He had on an expensive wine colored suit and black shoes she had handpicked herself.

Devil Jin walked on the stage to everyone, except Nina's, complete horror. He looked completely menacing as he walked to the stool that was meant for Jin Kazama.

“What did you do to the suit that I brought you?” Anna stared in horror at the bare-chested creature before her. He only wore the eleven thousand dollar pants.

“Gave it to charity.”

“You don't even know what charity means, you idiot.”

“My wings sliced through the jacket and shirt so I tossed them.”

“What are you even doing here?”

“Since I was not invited on the show, Jin let me have his time slot.”

“You weren't invited on the show because you, Jin, Lee, and I all know that you will get bored and destroy the set!” He chuckled evilly. “You and Jin are in big trouble, mister!”

“Good job, Anna. You have succeeding in doing the exact opposite of what we were supposed to do,” Nina muttered. “Aren't your treating him like a kid, yourself?”

“This is Devil Jin . . . not Jin,” Anna replied in a huff. “He's an awful little brat.” Devil Jin found that funny too.

“Hi, Jin,” Xiaoyu said. “You look scary.”

“I am scary.”

“Remember this, Kazama Jin. Retribution will be coming for you and your dad. I refuse to accept awful behavior!” After Xiaoyu said this, Devil Jin just stared at her.

“What is she even talking about?” Devil Jin demanded of Anna and Nina.

“How are we supposed to interview Jin?” Anna demanded of Devil Jin.

“Now do you understand why I treated him the way that I did?” Jun asked.

“Be quiet or die!” Nina commanded. Devil Jin chuckled in amusement as everyone else became quiet. “Devil, what significant changes has that boring pretty boy gone through since being put under Anna and Lee's mentorship?”

“I like him. He has stopped acting like aliens anal probe his ass on a daily basis.”

“He's now in college,” Anna said.

“Which is nap time for me,” Devil Jin declared.

“Hence, you're a dumbass.” It pissed her off when he laughed at the insult that she had borrowed from Nina.

“Why are you letting Susie Q here talk down to you?” Nina asked. “Kick the shit out of her.”

“Because I find mortals trying to insult me, amusing. And she and her husband have Jin under their control, which makes him better to live with. Living with a guy that ridiculous can get to the best of us.”

“You're telling me that? I had to live with this crazy bitch for years before adulthood,” Nina snapped.

“Hey, living with you wasn't a picnic either!” Anna was indignant.

“Besides, I will get Anna-chan back.” Anna looked at Devil Jin in horror when he said this. Knowing this one, he would wait until her and Lee were making love and then come in their room and throw eggs at them. His awful pranks sucked!

“Nina, I wish you would have gotten this crazy asshole instead of me!” Anna shouted.

“Keep up the good fight, asshole,” Nina said to Devil Jin in amusement.

“But Jin, on the other hand, is the perfect student. He is majoring in graphic design. And he is blending in well with his fellow students,” Anna said, brightening. “He is learning to make his own decisions quite nicely.”

“And the best part, he's finally embraced me,” Devil Jin said. “Sometimes I betray him because that is my nature. And doing so is funny as hell. But he still doesn't treat me like a disease, anymore.” He was impressed.

“Is he still writing love letters that Dennis the Menace could rival in intensity?” Nina chortled over the memory.

“Of course not. He's a very accomplished young man.” Lee was insulted over the notion.

“His girlfriend is no fun,” Devil Jin muttered. “She stops me from destroying cities when I try to.”

“How?” Anna asked so she could use the method as well.

“Just when I am about to completely trash the place, she tricks me and a very rude fashion. I go running to find her. And then she zaps my ass with a damn cattle prod.” Anna, Lee and Xiaoyu found this hilarious. “It happens every damn time!”

“That's my girl,” Nina declared.

“How does she accomplish this?”

“Well it's my mission in life to punk Jin, by stealing her away from him. That would be awesome. So she declares that I am the one she wants. I rush to find her and . . . zap.” It pisses me off so much.

“I am so getting me one too,” Xiaoyu declared. She could not wait to use it on Kazuya when he went Devil or was just unruly in general.

Anna also planned to buy one. She had to get the diabolical prankster under control or she would eventually kill him, and that drastic move would kill her ward Jin Kazama by default. And that meant Nina would win their contest! No way would she let that happen.

“Please, do so, Xiaoyu,” Ninja requested. Kazuya's expression and reaction would be priceless.

“You're the one who told her to cattle prod me, aren't you?” Devil Jin demanded of Nina.

“Actually I suggested a taser. She obviously improvised on my idea.”

“All that taser did was tickle me. You should have seen her face. It was hilarious.”

“You are completely different than what I thought you would be,” Jun said. Devil Jin was more like a mischievous child than like Devil Kazuya.

“Who are you?” Devil Jin asked in horror.

“Jin's mother, you dip shit,” Nina replied.

“And I'm your grandmother,” Xiaoyu said happily.

Devil Jin stared at both his mother than young grandmother blankly. What in the hell is going on?

“How can you not know who Jin's mother is?” Nina asked.

“Because I didn't and don't give a flying damn,” Devil Jin replied. “I have more important things to worry about.”

“Like what stupid thing you can think up to do next?” Anna sniffed.

“Yes.” At least they could say he was honest about his devilment.

“How, in the hell do we call this one?” Nina wondered aloud.

“That success that is,” Anna replied.

“How is this a success?” Nina demanded.

“Because it is! She isn't in psycho mom mode anymore! And he isn't hanging on her every command!”

“Because this is Devil, not Jin. So we don't know how Jin would react to his mother.”

“He actually gave Devil his time with his mother, which speaks volumes!” Anna replied.

“What she said,” Devil Jin said in agreement.

“What do you think audience?” Nina asked unimpressed.

“Kill the bastards!” Asuka Kazama—president of Nina's fan club—shouted. She could care less that the Kazama's were her kin. Nina's way of life was greater than all.

“Anna's right . . . they have both changed!” The president of Anna's club had finally arrived, entering the studio in a dramatic way. Her outburst caused Asuka to stand up to glare back at her.

“Who in the hell are you?”

“Lili Rochefort, and I am president of the coolest fan club there is . . . the Anna Williams Fan Club.” The beautiful blonde got into Anna's signature pose.

Asuka, who was totally unimpressed, snorted in disgust. “Figures that one,” she pointed an accusatory finger at Anna, “would attract the new breed of half-dressed tramp!”

“Hey!” Nina and Lili wailed in horror. Nina, Xiaoyu, Devil Jin, and even Lee found the exchange hilarious.

“This show is awesome,” Devil Jin declared. “I want to be a host too.”

“No!” Anna snapped.

“Tramp,” he muttered in response.

“Can we interview Michelle now, please?” Anna demanded. “This case is a success!”

“Apparently tramps don't have much patience.” Xiaoyu chortled.

“That is it!” Anna snapped. “The next person that calls me a tramp, who is not my sister . . . is dead. Only she has that privilege.”

“Get a sense of humor,” Nina snapped.

“Like you have one!” Anna snapped back.

“Michelle, how has life changed for you, since your last appearance?” Nina asked ignoring her spoiled little sister's tantrum.

“Other than the fact that the two of you put me in a asylum for being a good mother . . . nothing at all.”

“Arizona is not a rain forest!” Anna yelled.

“It is not a desert either,” Michelle replied.

“See your problem is, is that you put yourself on the shelf way before your time. And decided that it was prudent to live your life through your daughter,” Nina declared. “Big mistake for her. And an even bigger one for you.”

“Michelle, Lee, and Anna looked at Nina in astonishment.

“Why are you making more sense than I am?” Anna finally demanded. This new development was unacceptable! Nina was supposed to be scaring the hell out of everyone . . . not giving the best advice.

“Because you have a pile of shit in place of a brain,” Nina snapped.

“Now that is the Nina I know and fear,” Lee said excited.

“You are a beautiful, intelligent woman who could achieve any goal you want. That is when you are not being a dumb ass. So why have you let life go?” Nina glared at Michelle through narrowed eyes.

“I have not let life go.”

“Why did you retire from everything? You put your life on hold for no reason at all. And the only reason that I can think of is, your being a fucking coward.”

“I don't know . . . the spirits told me that my time was over and that it was now Julia's time.”

“The spirits can go fuck mother Earth and mind their own business.”

“That is disrespectful.” Michelle was shocked.

“That is truth,” Anna replied. “They aren't being respectful to you if they gave you that horrid order. You are still alive . . . So live.”

“Wow, I thought that you two were stupid,” Xiaoyu said in awe. “What great advice.”

“Shut up!” Nina snapped. “Julia, get out here.”

The young woman walked out amongst a modest applause and sat on the stool reserved for her. “Hello, everyone.”

“Don't speak to me,” Devil Jin said making a face at her. “I do not like you.”

“But I like you.” Devil Jin looked at her hopefully, trying to read her expression, but when he failed to do that he scowled.

“I refuse to fall for your mind tricks!” But they both knew he eventually would because of his mission to prank Jin.

“How are you doing, Mother?” Julia turned her attention to Michelle. “I've been worried about you.” Afraid that she would get herself killed by Nina.

“Tell us . . . how have you changed since the last time that we saw you?” Anna asked giving the other young woman a speculative once-over.

“She has a cattle prod in her possession. Which she uses to zap, Devil Jin,” Xiaoyu replied happily. “That's a awesome change.” She clapped. “Can I borrow it, Julia?”

“Who in the hell asked you anything?” Nina demanded.

“I am bored sitting here.” Xiaoyu looked tragic. “When is Kazu-chan coming out?” She looked about ready to throw a temper tantrum.

“If you even think about it. I will shoot you in that empty head of yours!”

“I have an idea!” Anna stood from her stool with the energy of a teenager. “We will make it a surprise. So that you can make your grand appearance after we introduce him. And after his feud with Lee has been reconciled.”

“Yay, but where will I be until then?” Xiaoyu was so excited she could barely sit still.

“Hopefully, in an unending sugar coma,” Nina snapped.

“Lee's game room,” Anna said. “He has video games and everything.” Both Xiaoyu and Devil Jin's eyes lit up over the prospect.

“I want to go too!” Devil Jin grinned evilly.

“Lee make yourself useful and escort these two clowns to Pee Wee's Playhouse!” Nina commanded.

“Right.” Lee stood and bowed to the crowd. “See you guys, later.” With a cute little wave he led Xiaoyu and Devil Jin toward the backstage.

“Oh, if you guys need help with controlling Devil, just give me a call,” Julia said.

“I am having difficulty,” Xiaoyu blurted in excitement. She wanted to see him get cattle prodded so badly. It was probably a funny sight.

“Fuck you, I haven't even done anything, yet!” Devil Jin ranted.

“When you do, I'm telling.”

“Leave me alone!”

“Julia?” Xiaoyu wailed but Devil Jin put his hand over her mouth.

“Stop that!” Everyone watched in relief as the trio disappeared offstage.

“Thank goodness,” Anna said in relief. “How annoying.”

“Have you two traded places or something?” Jun asked in awe.

“Of course not!” But sisters said in a huff.

“Can we get back to Julia's story now?” Michelle asked. “I want to know how much damage was done to her.”

“Damage?” Nina gave her a murderous look. “You want me to strangle you don't you? So you won't have to face the reality that you have turned your back on life. Because you'll be dead.”

“You are an assassin so logic dictates that you have passed your murderous ways onto her.”

“I will bestow my murderous ways on you, if you don't learn to address me with respect,” Nina snapped.

“Thank goodness things are getting back to normal,” Anna said in relief. “Julia, are there any differences in your life in which you would like to point out to us?”

“I have been putting archeology on the back burner for years but now I have gone back to my true passion. I went on a dig in South America and I found some really significant finds.”

“And no more obsessing over nature,” Nina said in distaste.

“I still worry about it, but it is not my only priority anymore,” Julia replied. “I have also started investigating the identity of my real parents. It just baffles my mind, that someone could abandon a child. In a place like that . . . for no reason. There has to be a reason. What am I? Who am I . . . really?”

“That is fucking strange,” Nina declared.

“I never gave that much thought,” Michelle said lost in her thoughts.

“You were too busy trying to mold her into the new version of you,” Anna said. “I would have spent those early days trying to locate them."

“Yeah so I could kill them,” Nina muttered.

“Do you consider yourself an well-rounded individual, now?” Anna asked.

“I suppose.”

“Of course she is,” Nina snapped.

“She was already well-rounded,” Michelle replied.

“What about Jin, do you think he has changed for the better?” Jun asked.

“I didn't know him all that well before mentoring with, Nina. He isn't as stoic as he used to be. We're very comfortable with each other.”

“I told you he changed,” Anna said in a smug tone.

“I still may kill him.” Nina said this just to piss her off.

“That's not fair. And not part of the contract!”

“I am fucking bored. So lets move on to our next guest,” Nina commanded.

“If you kill my ward. I'm killing yours!”

“Lets move on to the next segment, you trashy, pink panther.”

Author's Notes: The spirits I am talking about in this story or the ones who decided to bring the older males back to the game but neglected to bring back Michelle and Jun. There are two more chapters left. Oh yeah, and if you have seen Waterboy the movie, you get how the name of this chapter fits the theme.

[Moriamur]

...Another cliffhanger..?

Tammy... You are the most evilest woman I officially know of...

And I love it too!

This new episode had me in laughter twice! (yes twice, read pieces and bits at work earlier this week and I had a hard time to hold in my laughter)

I am eagerly awaiting the next episode... Also Xiaoyu appears to be a devil in her own right

This stuff is getting funnier and funnier, I mean it. Keep it up!

[Kamen Rider Tams]

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken or the characters within the series. This series and the characters within it, are the property of Namco. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 9: Rivals' Return

The stage was again empty with the exception of the two sisters. “We have finally reached the rivalry portion of our broadcast.” Anna Williams paused as the crowd clapped over the news. “And so far, we haven't had to give anyone the 'you're gonna die' notice.”

“Which sucks ass,” Nina Williams muttered.

“Well it means that we have done a good job of reforming everyone.”

“I didn't want to reform them. I wanted to deform them!”

“Our next guests are, King and Craig Marduk!” Anna did the wrestlers signature poses along with most of the crowd.

“Whoever invented that dumb-ass wannabe sport . . . needs to die,” Nina mumbled as the the wrestlers took a seat on their respective stool. She immediately turned her icy gaze on King. “Why did you call off the hit on this brainless minotaur?”

“Roar.”

“I have found peace with the situation.” Anna translated.

“Roaar.”

“We are now friends and tag team partners.”

“How could you find peace with the fact that Neanderthal, wannabe god of war, stomping your mentor to death?”

“Rooar.”

“It is called forgiveness,” Anna translated but she looked anything but happy. “What peace offering could he possibly have giving you. For you to have forgiven something like that?”

“I told him the truth,” Craig said meekly. “It was an accident.”

“One of my bullets missing your gigantic, bald head is an accident. Stomping someone that many times was not.”

“Roar.”

“He begged for forgiveness.”

“He should have begged your stupid ass to learn English,” Nina snapped. Didn't I tell you the last time that you were here, to learn English? That is strike two, Tigger.”

“Roaring is apart of the mystic of King,” Anna declared. “Cats don't know how to speak English.”

“Sometimes you are just too stupid to even insult,” Nina muttered in reply.

“Where's the justice for Armor King?” Anna demanded of King.

“Roar.”

“Nina, he just said that he cannot take justice into his own hands.” Anna's gaze was sharp like ice. “I wonder if he realizes that Armor King was a dear friend of our late father. And as such, is very dear to us.”

“Obviously the dipshit didn't know.”

“I think I want to avenge Armor King.”

“What?” Craig looked at Anna in bewilderment. “You cannot be serious!”

“Oh, but I am.” A deceptive angelic smile graced her pretty face. “He was the only one of father's friends who was still alive.”

“She is going to kill you.” Nina was impressed that Anna had made this plot twist. She was half expecting the sinister troll to embrace forgiveness with King.

“That is not a part of the contract,” King blurted in English.

“You shut the hell up,” Nina snapped. “I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to kill you . . . for turning your back on our friend. To play sidekick to this gigantic pile of dinosaur crap.”

“You have until the conclusion of this show to find a place to hide.” Anna looked angelic as she gazed at the terrified Craig. “I like to hunt my prey.”

“At least we have that in common,” Nina declared, as Craig got up form his sit and barreled toward the exit. She turned her cold gaze on King who looked as if he was about to leave as well. “If you even think about helping him. I. Will. Kill. You.”

“We don't like traitors.” Anna let it be known.

“Bu-but the whole point of the rivalry segment was for the rivalry to end . . . right?” King asked.

“Yes. But ending it meant, to us, for you to kill that humongous turkey. Not to become best friends for—fucking—ever.”

Anna shook her head, tsking. “I am disappointed in you, King.”

“Forgive me.”

“Fuck you,” Nina muttered.

“What she said.” Anna pouted in displeasure.

“I will do anything to live.”

“You can start by shutting the hell up,” Nina snapped.

“It is time to move on to our next guest.” Anna smiled happily. “ Welcome back, Yoshimitsu.” He came flying out in his usual fashion amongst modest applause.

“Why is that bastard here? His case was solved.”

“It's . . . well . . . Bryan Fury is alive.” She looked disturbed.

“What?!” Nina got up from her stool and threw he dagger in anger. “I killed him!” The audience watched in fascination as the weapon sailed through the air and then collided with Yoshimitsu's sword, effectively stopping the propeller motion he was creating with it and sent him falling down hard on his butt on the stage floor.

Asuka and her club roared with laughter at the scene. Lili and her club was horrified over the spectacle.

“Another scientist brought him back online.” Anna rushed over and helped the embarrassed Yoshimitsu to his feet. “Hello, Yoshi-sama. Welcome back to our show.” She grimaced over the cursing fit her sister was having. “Nina you could have hurt him.”

“I don't give a damn! Unless he has Bryan's head on a platter, I don't know why the creepy waste of space is here anyway.”

“Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have you return,” Anna said sympathetically.

“I swear on my honor that I shall bring his head to—”

“Like you could, tin man. I'll bring you his head on a silver platter. So do me a favor and get lost!”

“Why are you so mean?” Yoshimitsu asked unhappily.

“Do you want to live, asshole?”

“Don't worry, Yoshimitsu-sama. I promise you that we will take Bryan offline forever.” Anna smiled in confidence.

“What is this, we, bull I'm hearing?” Nina turned on her. “If you get in my way, I will bitch slap you out of it!”

“You really hate Bryan don't you?”

“I hate everybody. But that malfunctioning zombie-tron, spit in my face, and was swiftly killed for it. But now some stupid nerd has brought him back to life. You tell me how I feel?”

“The nerd's gonna die too?” Yoshimitsu asked.

“Don't talk to me!”

“Well the only thing we can do is introduce our next guest,” Anna said shrewdly. “You set up a surprise for one of them, Nina.”

“Who gives a damn? I have got to hunt and kill that Terminator wannabe.”

“Ling Xiaoyu . . . Kazuya bombshell . . . Ringing any bells?”

Nina snorted like a bull and Anna thought she saw steam escaping from her nose and ears. How could someone so stunningly beautiful be so crazy? “I'll stick around for that.” She stomped back to the stage and vaulted back on her stool.

“Yoshi-sama, you are welcome to stay for the surprise too. It's going to be a hoot.” Anna smiled mischievously.

“Really? Thank you.”

Anna walked with him over to the stools. “Nina, you look like an angry monkey perched on that stool like that.” She laughed.

“I am going to beat you like an angry monkey, if you don't get the next guest out here.”

“Now that is more like it.” Anna posed for the audience. “Audience, put your hands together for my husband, Lee C. Williams.”

Most of the crowd clapped respectively but Nina's club members booed and that cheered her up considerably. She could tell that Lee was oblivious to the boos as he strutted to the stage. “I really want to kill him.”

“Well tough luck, since you have picked Bryan as your victim, it is my turn.” Anna licked her tongue out at her.

“I don't care who kills him . . . so long as he dies.” She watched the wife and wife duo sit down. Yoshimitsu rushed to the stool beside Lee and away from her. “You two make everyone sick.”

“Lee how is the status of your relationship with your brother?”

“Even though I haven't talked to him since he tried to kill me. I've been busying myself with rebuilding our horrible relationship.”

“Knowing you, your idea will fail. And then he will finally succeed in his quest of killing you.”

“Well Lee is the one actively seeking a reconciliation. So if Kazuya rejects it, then that puts him at odds with his contract.”

“I know what the contract says, Slutahontis. I helped write it.”

“Which means he'll be dead before he touches my Lee.”

“You really believe that you can slay Kazuya?”

“You killed Heihachi so Kazuya should be and easy termination.”

“I had help.”

“Help me, please.”

“They are dating. So she won't help you,” Lee reminded Anna.

“We are not dating. We were tricked into going out on a date . . . by a mentally impaired swan. And her pet brain-dead, silver peacock.”

“I am not a pet.” Lee was highly insulted. “Don't you two want to know what I am doing to regain my brother's trust in me?”

“No we do no. Because we already know your plan is stupid and won't work. So we don't even need to hear it at all.” Anna had to stop herself from laughing at Nina's words because it would hurt Lee's feelings . . . but Nina was right. Pretty much all Lee's plans were stupid. She could not imagine this one being any different.

“How, rude.” Lee pouted for only a moment but was too proud of his project to stay insulted for only a few seconds. “I have successfully recreated Project X.”

Nina snorted in disbelief. “Yeah, right. Like we are dumb enough to fall for that.”

“It's true.”

“Rebuilding project X out of play dough, doesn't count as a recreation!” Anna could not help but giggle over that dig.

“Play dough?” Lee sputtered. “How, mean.”

“Okay, I'll humor you. How did you recreate the failed project?” Anna asked.

“Not only did I recreate it, but I made it even better than before. I used genes of some of the best fighters in the universe. He will be a force of nature and my gift to Kazuya.”

“We are supposed to believe that you did this?”

“Well I had help from my science team but I am personally overseeing everything.”

“You didn't add that sugar and spice stuff that made him so angry the last time, did you?” Anna asked still reluctant to believe her husband.

“Do you think I want to die? Of course I didn't!”

“You believe this idiot?” Nina asked in amusement.

“Well, yes. If he said that he did it on his own, than I would have to agree with you. And believe that he imagined all this up while getting high of said play dough you mentioned earlier.”

“I knew that I could count on you, my beloved.”

“You need proof for either me . . . or anyone else, who is not your crazy wife, to believe you!” Nina snapped.

“She is right, Lee. Kazuya won't believe any of this.”

“I have proof.” He smiled mysteriously.

“A smile is not proof, you ass. Kazuya is going to kill this ridiculous clown.” And she could not wait for it to happen.

“Lee, I hope that you know what you are getting yourself into.” Anna was worried about him.

“Don't worry, dearest. I have it covered.”

“Anna, I hope you have a good insurance policy on this clown.”

“I do,” Anna chirped. “Kazuya Mishima. Come out, come out! Where ever you are!”

“I cannot believe that evil dragon actually showed up.” Nina muttered this as said evil dragon walked on stage. There were two available stools so he sat on the one farthest away from anyone else. “Saving us the trouble of hunting you down?”

“Neither one of you can kill me. So the results would be the same no matter what I decided to do.” Kazuya had come on the show because he was bored. Being the boss of the Mishima Zaibatsu was boring as hell. Maybe being hunted by these two crazy bitches will entertain me.

“Kazuya, hi.” Lee waved and smiled gleefully at this brother.

“What a stupid little . . .” Kazuya could not hear the rest of Nina's accurate assessment of his ridiculous brother.

“Kazuya, Lee has a peace offering that he would like to give you,” Anna declared.

“Is that what I came here for?” Kazuya was not amused.

“And we have a surprise for you, as well.” Anna could barely contain her mirth over the situation.

“I hate surprises.”

“Well, you are going to love this one,” Anna declared.

“I have recreated, Project X!” Lee blurted. “Say you love me?” Kazuya only glared at him in annoyance. “Well, aren't you . . . happy?”

“Nobody believes you, you freak!” Nina snapped.

“You people act as if I did not design Combot, myself.” Lee was deeply offended.

“Combot was stupid!” Nina and Kazuya ranted.

“Lee,” Anna started nervously. “You said that you had proof. It would be prudent to reveal it now.”

“Well, I don't think I want to, anymore. Yes my ideas are stupid. But I make those ideas a reality. Kazuya may have come up with the concept of Project X . . . but it was me who made the dream a reality.”

“He is high. Isn't he?” Nina muttered.

“No I am not. Tell them, Kazuya. Tell them who drew up the concept. And who picked the parents. And tell them, just who picked the scientist. Because it sure as hell wasn't you.”

“It can actually get mad?” Nina was impressed.

“I messed up that one time. But you excel at messing up. I give you two years, tops, until you get bored. And then run the company into the ground. Because without me there . . . you are only going through the motions, but no actual work gets done.”

“Who would have thunk it?” Nina declared. “Underneath all that fairy dust, Pinocchio has become a real boy.”

“Lee, if this is one of your idiotic delusions, you are dead,” Kazuya muttered. “And if Project X is compromised by you, again, you're dead.”

“Fair enough.” Lee was so confident even Nina was very close to believing him.

“Now, it is time for my wife and my lovely, dearly, beloved sister-n-law to present you with your gift.”

“What could these two offer that I could possibly want?” Kazuya muttered.

“Obviously, an ass kicking.” Came the reply from the lovely, dearly, beloved sister-n-law. “And I can and will comply.”

“We located someone very important to you,” Anna said excited.

“Nobody is important to me.”

“Every Mishima has the same weakness. Whether good or evil. Dumb or dumber,” Nina muttered. “Search hard and then guess at who we are talking about.”

“My mother is dead.” It didn't take him long to solve the mystery.

“And he got it on the first try!” Lee declared excited.

“It is your mother, too. You fool,” Kazuya muttered.

“Only by paper. Not by blood.” Was the blissful retort.

“My mother is dead,” Kazuya muttered.

“Do you remember anything about her?” Anna asked.

“Other than the fact that she and my father were brainless, idiots . . . no.”

Nina chortled over his words. “Even as a baby, he noticed the truth about them.”

“But you know you still love her,” Anna said, gleefully.

“Why does that matter? She's gone.”

“Your mother was a time traveler. And she is here now to be reunited with you.”

“I have no use in my life for a mother, right now.”

“Who gives a shit?” Nina snapped. “Ling Xiaoyu, get your butt out here.”

“There is no way in hell,” Kazuya muttered.

“Kazu-chan!” Xiaoyu rushed into stage and then hurried to where he was sitting. “Kazu-chan, did you miss me?”

“How could he not?” Nina demanded much to everyone on stage's delight—with the exception of Kazuya. “Kazu-chan, do you remember that nickname?” His withering glare was all the confirmation that she needed.

“I would hug you, but you have been such a bad boy.” She was leaning forward and wagging her index finger very near his face. “I did not intend for or or raise you to be mean.”

“Oh, my. This is even more awesome than I could even imagine,” Anna said, as everyone watched the reunion in amused delight.

“How dare you go against your mom's wishes?” Nina snapped in evil glee.

“I was a baby when you left. How would I know any of your wishes. How was I to remember anything from that time?”

“That is no excuse for being mean.” Kazuya was looking intimidating but Xiaoyu was anything but cowed. “I have half a mind to discipline you right here!”

“I am an adult.” He said this as if it explained everything.

“No excuse!”

“I run the most powerful organization on this feeble planet. I answer to no one but myself.”

“No more excuses!”

“Kazuya, that my not be so accurate, anymore.” Lee was about to reveal the straw that he knew that would break the camel's back. “Father left the company to you, only if Mother was not alive to be the head.”

“What?” Nina chortled. “Sucks to be you, Kazu-chan.”

“It's true,” Lee replied. “I have read that will from cover to cover about one hundred times, and counting.”

Kazuya saw doom when his mother's eyes started to sparkle and her finger stopped wagging in his face. “Lee.” He said this in a threatening tone that sent shivers through Lee's spine.

“Don't you dare threaten him! That is it! As of right now, you're grounded! And everything is confiscated . . . including the Mishima Zaibatsu!”

Kazuya transformed into Devil with a sinister growl, causing Xiaoyu to jump backwards out of his path. He turned on his stool, because he would not dare to touch his mother, and slammed it to the ground. “I am not a child! And I will not be treated like one!”

“You think I'm kidding, don't you?” A cattle prod seemed to appear in Xiaoyu's hands. She had moved so fast that no one knew where she retrieved it from. As quick as a whip, she thrust it forward and zapped Devil Kazuya. He shook from the force of the current and then fell to the floor convulsing. He transformed back to his human form. Nina, Anna, and everyone who was not Kazuya laughed over the spectacle. “I had no idea that would be so funny,” Xiaoyu said delighted.

“Me either,” Nina managed to say.

“Served him right for being obstinate,” Lee decided.

“Do not think you are above being cattle prodded too, mister.” Xiaoyu turned on him with a cute menacing expression. “You have been a bad boy, too!”

“So, Kazuya, do you like our surprise?” Anna asked Kazuya who was still convulsing on the ground.

“I hate you both. Revenge is only . . . the beginning.”

“Stop threatening people!” Xiaoyu zapped him once more for good measure.

“On that note, I think we should pull down the red curtain on this successful endeavor,” Anna said deviously.

“Agreed.” Nina picked up her shotgun and cocked it. “Those idiots better make the hunt interesting for me. If they do not, I will torture them.”

“I'm going to torture my mark because it is all part of the fun.” Anna turned a speculative eye on her husband. “If there is no real Project X, then I”ll have to kill you.” She ran the long pink fingernail of her index finger down his smooth jaw and graced him with a cold, seductive smile. “But don't worry, Lee. You're beautiful. I'll mount your head on my bedroom wall. That way your face will still be, the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning.”

Lee looked terrified.

“And all you bastards called me crazy,” Nina muttered. “Fuck each and every one of you.”

“I hope you guys support us, as we rid the world of unexplained, unrepentant . . .” Anna's words trailed off as she thought of a suitable last word.

“Assholes,” Nina finished for her.

“Right, sis.” Anna smiled coldly. “Goodbye. And if any of you see me or Nina again. It will probably be your last moment alive.”

“Th-that is a w-wrap.” Lee C Williams had never been so scared in his life.

* * *

“Hello, listeners. I am Lili Rochefort. And my guest today is Asuka Kazama.”

“Whatever,” Asuka muttered moodily.

“And this is a very special podcast.”

“We are here to let you guys know that Nina and Anna Williams successfully carried out their sentences on the condemned. They also had to kill a few that was supposed to have changed.” Asuka sounded very proud of the two sisters' achievements.

“We will let you guys come to your own conclusions on who these poor souls were,” Lili said.

“I sure as hell wasn't one them,” Asuka declared proudly.

“Duh, doofus. You're sitting right beside me,” Lili muttered in distaste.

“And I will be kicking your ass out of my house, if you don't learn your place.”

“Like you could.”

“I can. And I will, Slut-ba-tron 2000.”

“How, rude.”

“Lets rap this up. I want you out of my house. The last thing that I need for my reputation, is to be mistaken as a weird creature, from the 'night of the living sluts' club.”

“That is it! I am leaving. And in the next King of the Iron Fist Tournament, I am going to show you which one of us is the best! My mentor, Anna, and myself will crush you and your psychotic mentor!” The podcast listeners heard a chair crash to the floor.

“Well get the fuck out! And steer clear of my father. Even looking at a tramp like you would give him an STD. And just for the record, my mentor and I will crush you two brainless dodo birds!”

* * *

Hwoarang closed his eyes and shook his head as he cut off the speakers to his computer. “Those two crazy bitches will grow up to be just as evil as those two harpies they worship.”

“What was that?”

Hwoarang shouted in horror as both Williams sisters loomed over his shoulder.

The End!!!

Author's Notes: No, Hwoarang is not about to die . . . or is he? They do love scaring the crap out of him at random times. Who knows if they are serious are not?

I planned from the beginning for Xiaoyu to be Kazuya's mother. What is the good of her traveling through time without cool consequences like this? Who knows? If she could have stayed with him in the past then maybe, things would have turned out different for him.

But Xiaoyu, along with her trusty cattle prod, will try her best to change her son's evil ways.

This chapter and the entire story is dedicated to my friend, Michel for sticking with me to the very end on this project. Thanks, man.

[Moriamur]

Oooooohhhhh maaaaaan...

I have been laughing all the way through this last episode (aaaaaaawwww), and it was soooo fucking hilarious on top of hilarious on top of insane ridiculous, mindless, black humoristic, looney tunes level AWESOMENESS!!!

Also a very nice way on how everything gotten wrapped up over the last episodes with some really nice plot twists here and there, while also revealing that Nina is actually the sane one and Anna the truly psycho one is (poor Lee)

My absolute favorite part of this episode is definately the whole parents reunion part... Ooooohhhh man was I laughing from beginning till ending right there I had a hard time to actually finish reading it.

And again I say poor Lee, that girl *snickers* has married the wrong woman in the end, even though what Anna wants to do to him is rather sweet, in a sick, twisted evil way (you have a dirty, evil mind Tammy; and I fucking LOVE it!)

Well for the 2 added on endings... *chuckles* ...all I can say is that I just LOOOVE Nina 2/Asuka, especially since she is putting that stuck up bitch in her place where she belongs! And poor Hwoarang... He never gets any peace now does he?

Tammy, if you set out to write this fanfic to be as crazily hilarious as can be then I say mission success!

Also, I liked that you made Xiaoyu the mother of Kazuya (really I smell a sit-com spin-off there!), it made this fanfic a whole lot more funnier and awesomer

And chucks... Now you are making me blush at dedicating the fic/latest chapter to me... What can I say? If a fic truly grabs me, I stick to it till the very end!

But now I am sad that this fic has ended, but it ended on a very high note that will probably be VEEEEERY hard to top in terms of pure comedy; so I applaud thy Tammy, congrats and good job! I truly enjoyed reading this fic and looking forward to each episode as they came out

As for the fanfic itself... Well what is left for me to say? I mean the premise was good, the characters were funny and the plot was good, even if it seemed to not exist. The characters aren't 3D cardboards since they actually show growth over the course of the fanfic itself. The plot, like I said seemed to be none existing since you weren't focusing so much on that, but once it came down to it, you truly showed the plot and let it shine along character growth throughout the entire fic; and that is what I love about fanfics if they show the plot in the first episode and then kind of bury it under characterisation while secretly showing small bits, pieces and hints and then bombard us like crazy so that we want to know what is going to happen next. You did really great on this Tammy and I for one will be looking forward to the next fanfic you will throw out here